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A baby pressing laptop keys while a tired dad drinks cold coffee

Surviving the Inevitable Baby Keyboard Smash in My Home Office

"asdfghjkl;'" was the exact, unedited message I sent to my accountant last Tuesday at 9:14 AM. I'd love to claim it was an avant-garde statement about the futility of modern tax law, but the truth is considerably shorter, louder, and...

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A chaotic backyard barbecue setup with smoked baby back ribs and kids playing on blankets.

My Chaotic Weekend Learning How to Smoke Baby Back Ribs With Kids

I was elbow-deep in raw pork juice at 6:15 AM on a Saturday, staring blankly at a massive, slippery cut of meat while Maya, who's seven and currently entrenched in her "question everything" phase, stood three inches from my hip...

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Taylor Big Baby guitar next to a ten-pound newborn in a Texas nursery

Why A Taylor Big Baby Fits My Nursery & My Ten-Pound Infant

Don't let your overly enthusiastic mother-in-law convince you to buy forty boxes of Size N diapers when your doctor says you're measuring three weeks ahead, y'all. I'm just gonna be real with you, that massive tower of pristine white Huggies...

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A tired mother holding a newborn baby wrapped in a bamboo blanket

What I Actually Learned From The Mother Baby Nurse On My Worst Night

It was 4:12 AM and I was sitting on the cold hexagon tiles of my bathroom floor, leaking from literally everywhere. Maya was exactly four days old. My older kid, Leo, who was three at the time, was blessedly asleep...

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Exhausted dad doing a crossword puzzle while twin toddlers chew on sustainable silicone teething toys.

Why The Baby Beluga Musician NYT Clue Destroyed My Sleep Entirely

The glowing rectangle of my phone was the only light in the nursery at 3:42 am last Tuesday. Twin A (Maya) was draped across my left shoulder like a heavily sedated sack of potatoes, occasionally whimpering and aggressively gnawing on...

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Exhausted mom sweating on Ashlyn Peaks trail with baby gemini in carrier

My Chaotic Baby Gemini Hiking Story On The Ashlyn Peaks Trail

Whatever you do, please learn from my colossal screw-up and avoid attempting the south ridge trail at Ashlyn Peaks with a six-month-old Gemini strapped to your chest while wearing non-breathable Lululemon knock-offs, because it'll end in chafing and tears. Mostly...

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A wooden baby play gym set up in a cozy living room

What a Tiny Baby Lemur Taught Me About Motherhood and Survival

Don't, under any circumstances, let your highly impressionable four-year-old watch a nature documentary about the rainforest forty-five minutes before lights out, unless you want to spend the next two weeks of your life explaining why a baby lemur can't sleep...

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The Truth About the Naked Baby Eco Trend (And Why We Tried It)

When I brought Leo home from the hospital four years ago, I received three distinct pieces of advice within a 48-hour window. My mother-in-law, Carol, stood in my living room holding a pair of microscopic fleece booties, insisting that if...

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Stressed mom holding a baby while looking at a laptop and drinking coffee

When Katie And Bill Consult Lawyer About Luna's Baby Custody

I'm up to my elbows in matched toddler socksβ€”which is to say, exactly three pairs and forty singlesβ€”when I hear the TV blaring from the living room. My mom is visiting to help out, and she's got The Bold and...

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