Magazine

Tired mom drinking cold coffee while her baby chews on a silicone panda teether

Doctor Boss Is My Baby Daddy and Other 3 AM Realities

Dear Sarah from exactly six months ago, It's November 14th, 3:14 AM. You're sitting in the freezing corner of the nursery on that peeling faux-leather glider. You're wearing the grey Target nursing tank with the weird bleach stain on the...

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Baby doing tummy time on a round vegan leather play mat

When Do Babies Crawl? A Tech Dad's Guide to the Locomotion Update

My mom told me my younger brother was sprinting across the living room carpet at six months old. The barista at our local Portland coffee shopβ€”who has definitely never had a childβ€”insisted that his nephew didn't move an inch until...

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Messy baby eating sugar baby watermelon slices

What the Heck is a Sugar Baby (And Why My Kitchen is Sticky)

I was standing at my kitchen island yesterday, scraping dried oatmeal off the counter with a thumbnail while trying to fulfill three Etsy orders for custom nursery signs, when I nearly dropped my phone into a lukewarm mug of coffee....

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A messy living room floor with a half unwrapped wooden baby gym

How To Survive The Santa Baby Phase Without Losing Your Sanity

There I was, sweating profusely through my favorite flannel shirt in a seventy-five-degree Texas December, trying to wedge my screaming firstborn into a faux-fur trimmed sequin outfit while Eartha Kitt purred the santa baby lyrics from my phone speaker perched...

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Tired dad singing to his 11-month-old baby in a dark Portland nursery

Hush Little Baby Bribes: A Late Night Letter To My Past Self

Hey Marcus of exactly six months ago. You're standing in the dark right now, aren't you? It's 3:14 AM. The nursery thermostat reads exactly 68.4 degrees because you checked the app three times. Your left shoulder is completely numb, you've...

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A stressed husband holding a tape measure next to a pile of maternity dresses

The Impossible Physics of Finding the Right Baby Shower Dress

I was standing in our narrow Portland hallway with a flexible tape measure, trying to calculate the cubic volume of my wife's third-trimester bump. She was holding three different dresses on hangers, crying softly because none of them accounted for...

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Toddler wearing a yellow backward cap and pink sweater holding a baby bottle.

How We Built a Baby Saja Costume (Without the Meltdown)

I was holding a detached, highly synthetic faux-collar in my left hand while my eleven-month-old son actively tried to eat a teal polyester wig. This was iteration one of the baby Saja outfit, ordered at 2 AM from a drop-shipping...

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Two messy toddlers covered in organic baby cereal sitting in high chairs

What I Got Completely Wrong About Baby Cereal

There's a patch of gray, cement-like substance currently adhered to the underside of my kitchen island, and I honestly don't think it's ever coming off. It has survived three rounds of antibacterial spray, a vigorous scrubbing with a wire brush,...

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Sleeping baby wrapped in an organic cotton floral nursery blanket

The Truth About Baby's Breath (And Why Pinterest Lied To You)

My hand was hovering roughly two millimeters above my son's chest, waiting for a movement that seemed to be taking centuries. The clock said 3:14 AM. The baby monitor cast a weird green glow over the room, making everything look...

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