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Baby due date calculator app on a phone

Why my baby due date calculator was a massive, statistical lie

The bathroom tile was unforgivingly cold against my bare feet, but I barely noticed because I was staring at a plastic stick with two faint blue lines, desperately stabbing at my phone screen. I had just Googled "baby due date...

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Mom sitting in the back seat of a car next to a newborn in a car seat.

Bringing Your Newborn Home Without Losing Your Mind

I was wedged between a breast pump box and a diaper bag in the back of my husband's F-150, clutching the plastic handle of the infant carrier like we were off-roading, even though he was driving twelve miles an hour...

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A tired mom holding a chubby cheeked baby while drinking coffee.

What No One Tells You About Your Newborn's Literal Baby Face

It was 2016, and I was sitting on my incredibly disgusting beige couch at 3 AM. I was seven months pregnant with Maya, wearing a pair of maternity leggings that had a questionable hole in the crotch, and I was...

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A sleeping newborn baby wrapped in a soft blanket

What no one tells you about bringing a jaundice baby home

My mother-in-law told me to put him in the living room window like a houseplant. The hospital lactation consultant told me to feed him until my nipples literally fell off. My deeply sleep-deprived husband downloaded three different tracking apps, poking...

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Exhausted dad staring at his smartphone while holding a sleeping baby

Troubleshooting Da Baby: A Clueless Dad's System Log

I was standing over the bassinet at 3:14 AM holding a digital meat thermometer near my son's forehead, completely convinced his baseline operating temperature was running too hot. He was wearing a heavy fleece onesie in late August because I...

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A clumsy oversized baby resembling the Baby Huey cartoon trope

Raising a Baby Huey: When Your Infant Is Off the Charts

It was 2:14 AM on a Tuesday, and I was losing a wrestling match against a seven-month-old. The left leg went into the sleep sack fine, but the right leg was suddenly entirely incompatible with the fabric, mostly because the...

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An exhausted father holding a slightly squishy, red-faced newborn baby

The Myth of the Pretty Baby: Surviving the First Messy Months

3:14 AM. Tuesday. Or maybe Wednesday. I'm standing in the dark, heavily stained with an acidic mixture of formula and what I strongly suspect is Calpol, holding a screaming Twin A while Twin B begins to rustle ominously in the...

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Sleeping baby wrapped in an organic cotton floral nursery blanket

The Truth About Baby's Breath (And Why Pinterest Lied To You)

My hand was hovering roughly two millimeters above my son's chest, waiting for a movement that seemed to be taking centuries. The clock said 3:14 AM. The baby monitor cast a weird green glow over the room, making everything look...

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A confused dad looking at a baby monitor while holding a folded baby blanket

What Nobody Tells You About Your Baby's Breath

When we brought Leo home from the hospital eleven months ago, I received exactly three pieces of contradictory advice about his respiratory system within a forty-eight-hour window. My mother told me to hold a tiny compact mirror under his nose...

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