The Great Spaghetti Bolognese Incident and Feeding Set Truths
There's a very specific, hollow sound that a ceramic bowl makes when it hits a hardwood floor after being launched from the terrifying altitude of an Ikea highchair. It's a sound that instantly ages you five years. It was a...
How Many Bibs Do I Need For A Newborn? The Spitty Truth
It was Thanksgiving 2017, and Maya was exactly six weeks old. We were at my mother-in-lawβs house, which is basically a museum of white linen and breakable objects, and I was wearing a rust-colored silk blouse because I was, like,...
The Truth About Suction Bowls for Toddlers (And What Actually Works)
It was 6:13 PM on a random Tuesday, and I was wearing a grey college sweatshirt that used to belong to my husband Dave but was now permanently stained with what I desperately hoped was just pureed sweet potato. Maya,...
A Letter to My Past Self About the Physics of Baby Tableware
Dear Marcus from exactly six months ago, You're currently sitting at the kitchen island, staring at a splatter of pureed sweet potato slowly seeping beneath the 'Esc' key of your favorite mechanical keyboard. You're holding a standard ceramic ramekin in...
The Day I Threw Out Every Plastic Plate in My House
There was spaghetti sauce on the ceiling. I'm still not entirely sure how the physics of it worked, but my oldestβwho is the cautionary tale for 90% of my parenting decisionsβhad just execute a flawless, unprovoked karate kick to the...
A Letter to My Past Self About the Great Baby Bib Migration
Hey past Marcus. It's currently November, which means you're standing in the kitchen at 2 AM, holding a cloth that smells vaguely of sour milk, trying to calculate if it's physically possible for a five-month-old to output more fluid than...
The Honest Truth About Organic Baby Bibs (And What To Avoid)
I'm currently staring at a mountain of laundry on my living room sofa, and right on top is a graveyard of those stiff, plastic-backed baby bibs I bought for my oldest son five years ago. Bless his heart, he was...
The ganzkΓΆrper lΓ€tzchen saved my twins from tomato sauce ruin
There's a persistent, incredibly damaging rumour floating around antenatal classes that starting your baby on solid food is a gentle, aesthetic journey. You're led to believe you'll hand your darling infant a perfectly steamed baton of sweet potato, which they'll...
LΓ€tzchen Silikon: Why I abandoned the cloth bib fantasy
It was day four of baby-led weaning. My son had managed to work a single wedge of roasted sweet potato into his hair, his ears, and the space between his toes. But the real tragedy was his chest. He was...