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The brutal truth about picking baby names that won't ruin them
My mother-in-law cornered me in the kitchen at twenty weeks pregnant to gently suggest that our child's name needed to reflect our deep ancestral roots. Later that afternoon, my hipster neighbor in Logan Square casually mentioned over the fence that...
Mein absurder Kampf mit Fast Fashion und warum ich fast alles wegge...
Es war 2 Uhr morgens, ich trug eine graue Jogginghose, auf der undefinierbare, verkrustete SΓΌΓkartoffel-Brei-Reste klebten, und starrte auf einen gigantischen Berg von Babyklamotten. So richtig grelle, chemisch riechende Neondinosaurier-Strampler aus Poly-irgendwas und Hosen, die sich anfΓΌhlten wie aufgeweichtes Plastik....
Why our pediatrician vetoed the freezer and pushed a beissring holz
It was 2:14 AM on a Tuesday, and I was standing in front of the open freezer in my boxers, holding a bright blue plastic hippo filled with mystery gel. Our eleven-month-old son was in the other room, screaming like...
Why bamboo preemie clothes are the only thing you should pack
I'm standing at the warmer in bed spot four, untangling a mess of yellow and blue lead wires. The mother next to me is holding up a standard zero-to-three-month onesie that someone gifted her at a shower she barely got...
The Truth About Suction Bowls for Toddlers (And What Actually Works)
It was 6:13 PM on a random Tuesday, and I was wearing a grey college sweatshirt that used to belong to my husband Dave but was now permanently stained with what I desperately hoped was just pureed sweet potato. Maya,...
A Letter to My Past Self About the Physics of Baby Tableware
Dear Marcus from exactly six months ago, You're currently sitting at the kitchen island, staring at a splatter of pureed sweet potato slowly seeping beneath the 'Esc' key of your favorite mechanical keyboard. You're holding a standard ceramic ramekin in...
Ranking the best indoor jungle gym for toddlers as a new dad
My 11-month-oldβs left big toe was wedged firmly into the cooling vent of my PlayStation 5 while his right hand maintained a white-knuckle death grip on the edge of the media console. He was attempting to scale the living room...
The Day I Threw Out Every Plastic Plate in My House
There was spaghetti sauce on the ceiling. I'm still not entirely sure how the physics of it worked, but my oldestβwho is the cautionary tale for 90% of my parenting decisionsβhad just execute a flawless, unprovoked karate kick to the...
A letter to past Tom regarding the babyrassel aus holz trend
Dear Tom from eighteen months ago. You're currently standing in the kitchen of the flat in Highbury at 3:14 in the morning, holding a bag of frozen peas against Florenceβs surprisingly robust forehead while Matilda screams from the other room...