The truth about being my baby's daddy: A first-time dad log
I'm currently staring at my 11-month-old daughter while she aggressively tries to jam a wooden block into my lukewarm coffee mug. The biggest lie they tell you about fatherhood is that the "dad instincts" will automatically download into your brain...
Why The Ashanti Baby Drama Triggered My Deepest Night Shift Rage
The absolute biggest lie we tell pregnant women isn't about the ring of fire during childbirth, and it's not about how breastfeeding is supposed to feel "natural." It's this bizarre, culturally accepted myth that men somehow physically lack the biological...
The 50 Cent Baby Momma Drama Broke My Brain at 3 AM
It was 3:14 AM on a Tuesday, and my eleven-month-old was emitting a continuous, low-frequency hum that sounded exactly like a failing server fan. I was sitting on the floor of his nursery in the Portland rain, staring at the...
What The Kodak Black Baby Mama Drama Teaches Us About Co-Parenting
Dear Jess from six months ago. You're currently sitting on the cold linoleum floor of the laundry room. It's somewhere around 2:17 in the morning, and you've dried spit-up crusted onto the shoulder of your only clean t-shirt. The dryer...
What Keke Palmer Baby Daddy Drama Taught Me About Boundaries
I'm sitting on the cold tile floor of my sisterβs bathroom at 2 AM, wearing yesterdayβs yoga pants with a weird yogurt stain on the knee, holding a lukewarm cup of coffee I've literally microwaved three times. My sister is...
Billionaire Custody Drama: What Real Parents Can Actually Learn
I spent my first two months as a mom trying to run my household like an intensive care unit. I had spreadsheets for dirty diapers and laminated feeding schedules taped to the fridge. It was a disaster. I was exhausted,...
The uncomfortable baby daddy meaning in modern co-parenting
The waiting room of pediatric cardiology smells like industrial floor cleaner and stale terror. I was sitting there last Tuesday, balancing my squirming toddler on one hip while trying to fill out a medical history form with my non-dominant hand....
What The Rick Ross Baby Mama Drama Taught Me About Co-Parenting
My mother-in-law insists that any dispute with an ex should be handled over a stiff cup of Earl Grey and a passive-aggressive biscuit, while the bloke who delivers our Amazon parcels reckons you should just block their number entirely and...
My Fictional Gangster Baby Daddy and the Reality of Co-Parenting
When we first found out we were having twins, the unsolicited advice arrived with the speed and aggression of a flock of London pigeons spotting a dropped chip. Three different people gave me entirely contradictory instructions on how to handle...