The Great Teething Toy Mix-Up: Babies, Bunnies, and Panic
It was 11:14 AM on a Tuesday in 2018, and I was wearing a pair of maternity leggings I legally should have burned three months prior. Maya was nine months old, screaming the kind of high-pitched, gum-throbbing scream that makes...
Why standard infant long sleeve shirts are a complete lie (until yo...
It was July 2020, roughly 88 degrees outside with 90 percent humidity, and I was sitting on the concrete patio of my neighborhood coffee shop sweating through my own shirt while three different people offered me completely contradictory opinions about...
Why You Must Buy Baby Bibs Organic: A Pediatric Nurse Explains
I was staring at a laundry basket overflowing with thirty-two polyester-blend baby shower gifts when I realized my registry was a massive failure. Before I had my son, I thought these fabric scraps were just cute accessories to tie an...
Decoding the Knitted Romper: A Dad's Guide to Baby Hardware
My mother-in-law cornered me in the kitchen last Tuesday to declare that any kind of woven wool would immediately give the baby a full-body rash. Ten minutes later, my neighbor—a guy who brews his own kombucha in a garage—leaned over...
The reality of vintage infant dresses: A dad's survival guide
I'm currently sweating profusely in the back of a moderately priced Italian restaurant in zone three, trying to force a writhing twenty-four-month-old's chubby arm through a rigid sleeve made of 1950s stiffened lace. My daughter, sensing my rising panic, arches...
The Truth About Baby Overalls: Cute Or A Total Nightmare?
Before my oldest was born, I laid out this tiny, stiff pair of denim dungarees at my baby shower, just staring at how ridiculously tiny the pockets were. My mom took one look and said they were adorable and that...
Expectation vs Reality: Montessori Toys for Nine Month Old Twins
There I was, at 6:42 am on a Tuesday, trying to fish a soggy, half-dissolved piece of Amazon packaging out of Maya's mouth while her sister, Chloe, methodically used a £45 plastic, battery-powered farm animal as a blunt instrument to...
The Brutal Truth About the Kinderkleiderbörse Bern Scene
The absolute biggest, most ridiculous lie Instagram tries to sell us is that to be a "good" mother, your baby needs a closet overflowing with pristine, tags-still-on aesthetic outfits in fifty shades of sad beige. I used to believe that...
Dear Past Tom: Put Down the Plastic and Get Organic Cotton Bibs
Dear Tom of October last year. You're currently standing at the kitchen sink at 2:14 AM. You're furiously scrubbing a bright orange, polyurethane-coated dribble catcher with an old toothbrush, wondering why it smells faintly of a wet dog that has...