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Dear Past Me: The Brutal Truth About That Knitted Newborn Outfit
You're currently standing in the maternity ward at St. Thomas' Hospital, desperately trying to fold a flailing, furious five-pound infant into a miniature Aran jumper while a midwife named Brenda watches you with undisguised pity. You're sweating. The baby is...
Why Footless Infant Rompers Saved My Sanity (And My Wood Floors)
It was 2:14 AM on a Tuesday, and I was staring at my oldest son, Carter, who was covered shoulder to knee in a blowout of biblical proportions. My husband was standing next to the changing table holding a single...
The huge family blanket mistake we made (and what actually works)
It's exactly 3:14 AM and I'm sitting in the dark nursery wearing sweatpants that haven't been washed since Tuesday and a faded Nirvana t-shirt that smells vaguely of sour milk, stale coffee, and total desperation. Maya is maybe seven months...
Why I Stopped Buying Cheap Joke Shirts For My Kids
I was sweating through my own nursing tank, trying to wrestle my oldest sonβwho was basically built like a sack of bowling balls at four months oldβinto a stiff neon green shirt my brother-in-law bought him. It said "I Only...
The brutal truth about picking a safe baby blanket pattern
My mother-in-law was so proud of the mint green monstrosity she pulled out of her floral gift bag at my baby shower. It had tassels. It had three-dimensional pom-poms. It had a crochet baby blanket pattern with holes large enough...
A teething necklace for mom saved my sanity and my shirts
It was a Tuesday in early November. I was sitting in the corner booth at Red Roasters wearing a ridiculous emerald green silk blouse that I had absolutely no business wearing to a coffee shop with a six-month-old. Maya was...
The Stroller Blanket Learning Curve: A Dad's Cold Weather Guide
We were exactly three blocks from the coffee shop on Hawthorne, the wind was doing that aggressive Portland damp-chill thing, and my 11-month-old was screaming as if I had deeply offended him. I had tucked him into the travel system...
Dear Past Sarah: Your Kids Need Real Fishing Bibs Out There
Dear Sarah from last October, You're standing on the damp, splintery planks of the marina dock at 6:15 AM. You're wearing those gray Lululemon leggings that are starting to pill at the inner thighs, an oversized, slightly damp college sweatshirt,...
My honest guide to surviving the Spielzeug bis 2 Jahre phase
It was 6:43 AM on a Tuesday, and I was holding a neon green plastic dog that was singing a heavily autotuned song about shapes at an ear-splitting volume. I was wearing my gray sweatpantsβthe ones with the bleach stain...