Magazine

A folded organic cotton baby tee sitting next to a wooden teether on a bed

Why finding a real usa baby tee is a nightmare (and how to fix it)

Yellow mustard poop all the way up the shoulder blades. That's what I was dealing with at two in the morning in my freezing Chicago apartment, trying to pry a rigid, zero-stretch miniature t-shirt over my screaming son's head. I...

Read more

Mom drinking coffee in a fitted shirt while toddler plays on the floor

My Complete Breakdown Over The Trendy Baby Tee Crop Top Phase

It was exactly 9:43 AM on a Tuesday, and I was bent at a perfect ninety-degree angle over the damp sand at Centennial Park, frantically trying to dig what looked like a half-chewed cigarette butt out of my four-year-old Maya’s...

Read more

Dad attempting to put organic cotton trousers on a rapidly crawling toddler

The ultimate guide to surviving pants for baby (and their parents)

Twin A's left leg is currently trapped in the right armhole of a sleepsuit, while Twin B has somehow managed to remove her entire lower half of clothing using only the corner of the coffee table and sheer, unadulterated willpower....

Read more

Toddler wearing a chunky oversized sweater looking away from camera

The survival guide to the baby knit pullover

It was thirty degrees in Chicago last November, and my fourteen-month-old was doing the alligator death roll on the living room rug. I was attempting to line up three microscopic buttons on a very trendy, very stiff denim jacket his...

Read more

Exhausted mom holding a baby romper and a cold coffee

Baby Rompers Changed My Life: Why I Threw Away All My Infant Pants

Seven years ago, it's 3:14 AM. I'm sitting cross-legged on the floor of my daughter Maya’s nursery in a stained, oversized Nirvana t-shirt, weeping silently while trying to pull a pair of miniature, stiff denim jeans over a bulging, blowout-level...

Read more

Baby strampler bedrucken custom onesie with safe ink

Baby Strampler Bedrucken: The Brutal Truth About Custom Onesies

I was standing in the blistering heat of a Target parking lot in mid-July, holding my screaming four-month-old oldest son, frantically trying to peel a stiff, sweat-soaked custom onesie off his bright red, angry chest. My mother-in-law had gifted us...

Read more

A frustrated dad looking at a thick knit baby romper without crotch snaps.

The Day a Snapless Sweater Romper Broke My Parenting Firmware

I'm standing in the incredibly cramped, dimly lit bathroom of a Stumptown Coffee on Belmont, holding my 11-month-old son suspended in mid-air like a ticking bomb. He has just experienced a Level 4 containment breach. The payload has escaped the...

Read more

A half-finished knitted baby cardigan next to a massive cup of spilled coffee.

The Truth About Baby Knitting Patterns (And What Actually Works)

Maya was exactly eighteen days old and I was sitting on our beige living room rug in sweatpants that hadn't been washed since the Obama administration, crying over a tiny sleeve. It was somewhere around 2 PM, though time is...

Read more

A dad holding a baby while looking confused at a pile of floral dresses on a bed.

Decoding What to Wear to a Baby Shower Without Losing Your Mind

I'm currently standing in my bedroom, holding my 11-month-old daughter who's actively trying to unbuckle my smartwatch with her single newly-erupted tooth, while watching my wife pull her seventh floral midi dress out of the closet. Our bed looks like...

Read more