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A tired mom holding a cup of coffee while looking at baby clothes

The Only Things You Actually Need For A New Baby (And What To Skip)

"You absolutely need the wipe warmer," my sister-in-law hissed across the table, leaning in like she was giving me state secrets. "If a cold wipe touches that baby's bottom, you'll never sleep again." "Don't buy anything," my hippie neighbor countered...

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Twin baby girl in organic cotton onesie commando crawling toward a dog bowl

The Exact Moment My Twin Girls Decided to Become Fully Mobile

I was halfway through a tepid mug of Yorkshire tea when I heard the distinct sound of a skull making soft, rhythmic contact with cheap Swedish MDF. It was Tuesday, approximately 10:14 AM, and Mia had finally discovered how to...

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Tired dad staring at a massive pile of baby items from a Target registry

The Truth About Target’s Baby Registry From a Tired Dad

I'm standing in our London flat at 2am, holding an iPad my American mother-in-law mailed across the Atlantic, staring at a digital spreadsheet that's fifty rows deep in burp cloths alone. My wife is asleep on the sofa, heavily pregnant...

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A tired father holding a baby while looking at financial spreadsheets on a laptop

My 3 AM Million Dollar Baby Obsession

It's 2:47 AM on a Tuesday. I'm sitting on the nursery floor wearing a hoodie that smells faintly of regurgitated sweet potato, trying to rock one of my twin daughters back to sleep while her sister aggressively kicks the cot...

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A dusty plastic storage bin filled with colorful 90s plush animal toys

The Beanie Baby Delusion: Why I Booted My Childhood Collection

I was standing ankle-deep in fiberglass insulation in my parents' attic last Thanksgiving, holding a massive, dust-caked Rubbermaid tub. Inside was what my 1998 brain calculated to be roughly $40,000 worth of brightly colored plush toys. I actually looked at...

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A frustrated dad staring at a laptop screen filled with a spreadsheet of baby names

The Google Sheet That Nearly Broke Us: A Guide to Baby Girl Names

Row 47 of our shared Google Sheet was where my marriage nearly met its untimely end over the name 'Blythe'. My wife, heavily pregnant and radiating a sort of exhausted menace, argued that it sounded literary and sophisticated. I argued...

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A messy living room with scattered baby toys and a television glowing in the dark.

Why the Baby Driver Cast Fooled Me on Family Movie Night

My oldest boy, Jackson, is standing dead center in the living room wearing mismatched dinosaur pajamas, clutching a half-eaten string cheese like a microphone, and staring completely wide-eyed at our television screen. It's 9:45 PM on a Friday. He's supposed...

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Twin toddlers looking aggressively demanding while sitting in high chairs

Living With a Real Life Boss Baby: Who Is Actually in Charge?

Before the twins were born, my mother-in-law tapped her teacup and said, "Establish dominance early, Tom, or they'll walk all over you." Two days later, a bloke at the Dog & Duck assured me, "Just let 'em cry, mate, show...

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A pregnant mother laughing at a casual backyard baby shower with friends.

Real Talk Baby Shower Ideas That Won't Make You Cringe

I was sitting at my kitchen island at 28 weeks pregnant with my first, staring at my phone as three completely different realities collided in my text messages. My grandma was insisting we rent out the church fellowship hall for...

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