Magazine

A dad holding a baby in an oversized yellow onesie

The Truth About Burt’s Bees Infant Gear: A Dad's Guide

At approximately 3:14 am last Tuesday, I found myself trying to locate my daughter Alice’s foot inside a yellow sleepsuit that appeared to have been tailored for a medium-sized golden retriever. I was sweating, the baby was screaming, and the...

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Confused dad holding a measuring tape over a pile of different sized blankets

Decoding Baby Quilt Dimensions When You Can't Put Them in a Crib

I'm sitting on the hardwood floor of our Portland apartment with a Stanley tape measure, surrounded by six different square-ish blankets, trying to categorize them by surface area. It's exactly three weeks after the baby shower. My wife, Maya, is...

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Exhausted dad holding two toddlers while one wears a plastic tiara

Raising a Baby Queen: The Brutal Truth About Royal Parenting

At precisely 4:12 on a Tuesday morning, I found myself executing a deep, entirely unironic bow to a person who had just soiled herself up to the shoulder blades. My mother-in-law had visited the day before, bearing a rhinestone-encrusted tiara...

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A realistic look behind the scenes of a messy newborn photography session

Dear past Priya: what I wish I knew about that first photoshoot

Dear Priya from six months ago. You're currently sitting on a sterile puppy pad in a stranger's living room studio, sweating through your nursing bra while a woman named Crystal adjusts a giant ring light. You have a fresh milk...

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A tired dad looking at a laptop while holding an 11-month-old baby in a dimly lit nursery

The Ultimate Man vs Baby Guide: Debugging First-Year Fatherhood

Portland rain is violently smacking against the nursery window, and I'm staring at a dual-screen monitor setup that used to be only for gaming, but is now dedicated to a massive spreadsheet that's fundamentally mocking my existence. It's 2:14 AM....

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Mom folding a pile of soft newborn baby clothes on a bed

The Brutal Truth About Little Me Baby Clothes and Newborn Wardrobes

I'm currently sitting on my bedroom floor, staring at a miniature tweed blazer on a tiny wooden hanger. My mother-in-law sent it for the baby, and bless her heart, she means well. But my six-month-old currently spends his waking hours...

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Pediatric nurse explains the reality of the myth versus postpartum

The Stork Baby Myth and the Brutal Reality of Postpartum

My mother-in-law walked into my Chicago apartment holding a massive stuffed white bird with a little cloth bundle in its beak. She placed it right next to the bassinet, beaming with that specific kind of grandmotherly pride. I just stared...

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Exhausted dad in a messy Portland kitchen staring at a baby monitor

Why your favorite audio show won't patch your infant's firmware

It’s 3:17 AM. The Portland rain is aggressively smacking against the kitchen window. I've exactly one AirPod in, listening to some pediatric sleep guru explain the best ambient temperature for a nursery, while my sonβ€”an 11-month-old dictator I lovingly refer...

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Tired mom drinking coffee in a dark nursery while baby sleeps

The 45-Minute Fakeout: Surviving The Twilight Sleep Phase

It was 7:42 PM on a Tuesday. I know this because the microwave clock was glaring at me in neon green, mocking the mug of coffee I had reheated four times since noon and still hadn't taken a single sip...

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