The Sandwich Generation Survival Guide to the Adult Bib
I was wearing my husband Dave's faded Syracuse hoodieβthe one with the fraying cuffs that smells faintly of old garlic because he refuses to let me wash it on hotβwhen the coffee went airborne. It was exactly 9:14 AM on...
Why I Exclusively Buy Boys Cargo Pants for My Feral Twin Girls
My mother cheerfully informed me that little girls should be dressed exclusively in floral smocked dresses, which is a lovely sentiment if your children sit perfectly still on a velvet cushion playing the harp. My extremely intense NCT group leader...
The Biggest Baby Rattlesnake Myth Ruining Your Desert Vacation
I was standing in my mother-in-law's Scottsdale backyard at 7 AM, wearing these completely impractical wide-leg linen pants that I thought made me look "resort casual" but actually just made me look like I was in a cult. I was...
Debugging Dinner: The Honest Truth About Washable Adult Bibs
At exactly 6:14 PM on Thanksgiving, the system architecture of our family dinner completely collapsed. My eleven-month-old, currently running a highly unstable version of his motor-skills firmware, had just discovered the gravitational physics of mashed sweet potatoes, launching a spoonful...
The Huge Car Seat Lie That Cost Me Weeks of Sleep (And Money)
I was standing in the middle of a big box baby storeβseven months pregnant with Leo, wearing maternity leggings that definitely had a crusty yogurt stain on the knee from God knows whereβjust absolutely sobbing. My husband Dave was holding...
The 3 AM Yarn Incident: Finding a Safe Crochet Blanket for Newborn
I was holding a tiny LED flashlight in my teeth at 2:14 AM, trying to extract a single microscopic thread of fuzzy blue yarn from my two-week-old daughter's left index finger. My wife, Sarah, was standing by with cuticle scissors...
The miniature adult wardrobe myth and how to actually dress him
We were twenty minutes into my cousin's wedding ceremony when the tiny linen suspenders finally gave way. My son was wearing what the internet told me was mandatory for formal family events, which was essentially a miniature three-piece suit that...
Why toddler boy winter legwear is a psychological battleground
My mother-in-law cornered me in the kitchen last Thanksgiving to announce that if I didn't cover my son's knees, the winter draft would settle into his joints and cause permanent arthritis. Thirty minutes later at the park, a fellow mom...
Selling Out: The Messy Reality Of Being A Parent Brand Ambassador
It's 9:43 on a Tuesday morning, and I'm currently using a plastic weaning spoon to scrape an unidentifiable, fossilised substance off the underside of my dining table. Meanwhile, my two-year-old twin girls, Florence and Matilda, are loudly debating who gets...