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The Absurd Reality of Dressing Babies in Wood Pulp
When we first decided to investigate the sheer volume of apparel made from bamboo flooding our social media feeds, I received three entirely contradictory pieces of advice within a single Tuesday. My mum, a woman who still quietly believes a...
Surviving the pink tulle avalanche: Practical presents for girls
I was staring at a mountain of aggressively pink tulle that had somehow swallowed our entire living room. It was day four with twin girls, the house smelled vaguely of sour milk and sheer desperation, and the delivery driver had...
Surviving the Buy Buy Baby Registry (And Other Twin Tales)
It was a Tuesday evening, somewhere around week nineteen of the twin pregnancy, and I was staring at my iPad with the kind of mounting dread usually reserved for unexpected tax bills. My wife had just handed me the tablet,...
Why You Are Totally Confused By Those Tiny Receiving Blankets
I was sitting on my living room floor a few days after my oldest son's baby shower, completely surrounded by a mountain of these tiny, square flannel blankets that someone had lovingly rolled up like little burritos and tied with...
Exposing the Real Job of a Brand Ambassador in the Baby World
I was sitting on my living room rug at two in the afternoon on a Tuesday, trying to bribe my screaming toddler with a half-eaten graham cracker so he would hold a wooden rattle for exactly three seconds. The natural...
A Letter to Past Me About Surviving The Boys Sweater Phase
Dear Marcus from six months ago: You're currently standing in the baby apparel aisle holding a tiny, adorable, heavily patterned wool pullover. Put it down. Seriously, drop it right now before your wife sees it and you both convince yourselves...
The Messy Truth About Giving Your Twins a Toddler Blanket
My mother told me that if the girls weren't under a thick wool quilt by November, I was essentially committing child neglect. My aggressively modern NCT friend, on the other hand, strongly implied over flat whites that introducing any loose...
The Sandwich Generation Survival Guide to the Adult Bib
I was wearing my husband Dave's faded Syracuse hoodieβthe one with the fraying cuffs that smells faintly of old garlic because he refuses to let me wash it on hotβwhen the coffee went airborne. It was exactly 9:14 AM on...
Why I Exclusively Buy Boys Cargo Pants for My Feral Twin Girls
My mother cheerfully informed me that little girls should be dressed exclusively in floral smocked dresses, which is a lovely sentiment if your children sit perfectly still on a velvet cushion playing the harp. My extremely intense NCT group leader...