Magazine

Sleep-deprived dad holding a baby in an oversized wrap bodysuit

System Failure at 3 AM: HM Baby Clothes and Newborn Survival

The poop had somehow achieved terminal velocity. It was 3:14 AM on a Tuesday, and my two-week-old daughter was lying on her changing pad, screaming with the piercing intensity of a malfunctioning smoke detector. The payload had defied all known...

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Tired dad holding a teething baby while staring blankly at a list of names

Surviving the Minefield of Hispanic Baby Girl Names

The greatest lie they peddle in those glossy parenting magazinesβ€”usually the ones featuring a serene mother in white linen looking lovingly at a perfectly clean infantβ€”is that picking a name for your child is a beautiful, intuitive process. They suggest...

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Tired mom holding a crying newborn in a dark nursery at 3 AM.

The Real Cost of Saying Hello Baby: Surviving the First Weeks

I was standing in my kitchen at 3:17 AM wearing a stained nursing bra and my husband's old high school track shorts, violently bouncing my screaming oldest child while crying into a cold cup of chamomile tea. The dog was...

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A tired dad inspecting a baby diaper under a smartphone flashlight.

Troubleshooting Green Baby Poop When You're Running on Empty

It was 2:14 AM on a Tuesday when my iPhone flashlight illuminated a diaper that looked like it had been sponsored by a 1990s Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles action figure factory. Neon, radioactive, undeniably green. I froze with a baby...

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Confused dad looking at a smartphone while a toddler chews on a wooden panda toy

The 3 AM Search for Goo Goo Babies Uma Musume and Real Life

The iPad was glowing with an accusatory harshness against the peeling wallpaper of our London flat, illuminating a very specific kind of 3 AM domestic hell. Lily, the slightly more volatile of my two-year-old twin girls, had just violently expelled...

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Sarah holding a cold coffee while making silly faces at her baby on a playmat

Why I Stopped Talking to My Infant Like a Tiny Corporate Executive

There's this very specific, slightly yellowish stain on the left shoulder of my vintage Ramones t-shirt. I got the shirt at a thrift store in 2018, back when I had things like "free time" and "disposable income," but the stain...

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Tom trying to keep a glowing glassy baby safe from twin toddlers

Surviving the Trend: Keeping a Glassy Baby Safe Around Real Twins

My mother-in-law told me it was a deeply spiritual heirloom that would absorb the chaotic energy of our household. My sister whispered it was the ultimate high-status nursery accessory that proved we were officially grown-ups. My mate Dave simply texted...

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Exhausted mom holding a crying baby in the kitchen at night

The Truth About Infant Gas Drops (And What Actually Worked For Us)

It was 3:14 AM on a Tuesday in 2017, and I was standing in my kitchen wearing a pair of maternity leggings that smelled distinctly of sour milk and sheer desperation. I was running on roughly forty-five minutes of fragmented...

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A wooden play gym set up in a living room while a dog watches

The Great Fur Babies Delusion: Why Your Terrier Is Not Practice

I was sitting on the hallway floor at 3:14 in the morning, holding a plastic bag of frozen peas to my forehead while watching our Jack Russell terrier methodically lick the remnants of a violently rejected rice cake off the...

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