My Beanie Baby Website Search: A Dad's Guide to Winter Hats & Toys
I'm sitting in the artificial blue glow of my MacBook at 3:14 AM, desperately clicking through a retro-looking beanie baby website that looks like it hasn't seen a CSS update since Netscape Navigator was a thing. My 11-month-old son is...
Baby's On Fire By Die Antwoord: A Minivan Parenting Disaster
There I was, merging onto Highway 290 with a trunk full of melting H-E-B groceries and a two-year-old who had finally surrendered to sleep in his car seat, when the Bluetooth decided to get cute. I was listening to my...
Dear Past Tom: Surviving When Your Baby's Coming Back Up
Dear Past Tom of six months ago, You're currently sitting in The Crown on a rainy Tuesday afternoon, enjoying a rare hour of unsupervised freedom while your mother-in-law watches the twins. You have consumed exactly one and a half pints...
When that angry red nappy rash is actually a fungal invasion
I was standing over the changing mat at three in the morning with Twin A, heavily sleep-deprived and holding a spatula covered in Sudocrem, when I realised the biggest lie in modern parenting is that every red bottom just needs...
What I wish I knew about raising our baby with Down syndrome
Hey man. Itβs Marcus. Or rather, itβs you, exactly six months in the future. I know exactly what youβre doing right now. Youβre sitting in the blue glow of the humidifier at 3:17 AM, holding your phone six inches from...
Dear Past Me: Everything I Wish I Knew About Cleaning A Tiny Tongue
Dear Past Sarah, It's 2 AM on a Tuesday. You're sitting on the living room rug, wearing that ancient Nirvana baby t-shirt from high schoolβyes, the one with the bleach hole near the hemβand you're frantically shining your iPhone flashlight...
When You Realize That Milk on Your Baby's Tongue is Actually Thrush
It was 3:14 AM. I know the exact time because I had been staring at the glowing green numbers on our digital alarm clock while my oldest, Leoβwho was roughly six weeks old at the timeβscreamed into my collarbone. I...
Why OPI's "Baby Take a Vow" Polish Caused a Panic in Our House
The smell hit me before I saw the damage. It was that sharp, chemical scent of a beauty salon, floating down the hallway and completely overpowering the faint aroma of stale oat milk and damp wool that usually defines our...
Why Homemade Baby Suji Saved My Grocery Budget and My Sanity
"Just give him rice cereal in a bottle," my grandma told me over the phone while I was actively scraping a dried crust of mashed banana off my kitchen cabinets. "No, skip grains entirely, meat only," a girl in my...