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Why I Exclusively Buy Boys Cargo Pants for My Feral Twin Girls
My mother cheerfully informed me that little girls should be dressed exclusively in floral smocked dresses, which is a lovely sentiment if your children sit perfectly still on a velvet cushion playing the harp. My extremely intense NCT group leader...
The baby shower gifts exhausted parents actually want
We were sitting in our ground-floor flat in Zone 3, staring at a six-foot-tall synthetic velvet giraffe named Barnaby that my wife's great-aunt Susan had just proudly manhandled through our incredibly narrow hallway. Barnaby didn't do anything. He didn't hold...
Why your baby skin actually needs nachhaltige mode to heal
Don't buy the fifteen-dollar dinosaur onesie multipack from that targeted midnight social media ad. I know it looks like a steal when you're nursing at three in the morning and your impulse control is completely shot. I did exactly this...
The "Baby Store Near Me" Trap: A Father's Reconnaissance Guide
I'm standing under fluorescent lights that could illuminate a surgical theatre, sweating through my jumper while a nineteen-year-old named Brayden earnestly explains the shock absorption capabilities of a Β£1,200 double pram. One of the twins is currently trying to eat...
Decoding the Holiday Dress Code: Surviving Baby's First Christmas
I'm currently staring at a miniature three-piece tweed suit that my mother-in-law mailed us for my 11-month-old daughter's first holiday party. It has an actual pocket square. It has a vest with decorative buttons smaller than a grain of rice....
Why the clothing industry is completely wrong about little boys
There's this incredibly persistent, borderline dangerous myth floating around the local playgroups that dressing male children is somehow the easy way out. The working theory goes that while parents of girls are trapped in a complex matrix of tights that...
Surviving the sticky, panic-inducing reality of baby suncare
It was late May, the temperature had inexplicably hit 22 degrees in London, and I was staring at my twin daughters in their double pram like they were gremlins about to melt in the light. They were barely four months...
Navigating the Chaos of Buying Tiny Outfits for Premature Babies
My mom told me they didn't even make garments that small back in the day and to just wrap her in a receiving blanket until she chunked up. The NICU nurse told me to immediately send my husband out to...
The Great Trouser Battle: A Letter To Myself About Dressing Boys
Dear Jess of six months ago: You're currently sweating entirely through your good linen blouse, pinning a flailing four-year-old to the living room rug while desperately trying to yank a pair of stiff, miniature raw-denim jeans over his incredibly solid...