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Why Searching For Baby Reindeer Episodes Nearly Broke My Brain
I had my arms elbow-deep in a basket of spit-up stained laundry, trying desperately to find the matching half of a tiny sock, when my four-year-old started screaming at the Roku remote. I was half-listening, calculating how many Etsy shop...
That cute baby raindeer show is actually a parental nightmare
I was standing by the kitchen island at 6:45 AM on a Tuesday, wearing gray sweatpants that honestly probably smelled like stale yogurt, scraping hardened oatmeal off a plastic bowl with my thumbnail, when Leo casually walked in holding his...
The Terrifying Truth About Innocent Kids' Searches
I was sitting on the floor of my laundry room yesterday, using a baby wipe to scrape dried oatmeal off my five-year-oldβs hand-me-down tablet. I turned it on just to check the battery, swiped over to the browser he uses...
Why I Googled Baby Osama at 3 AM: TikTok Sleep Hacks Are Terrifying
It's 3:14 AM on a Tuesday, the nursery is precisely 69.4 degrees Fahrenheit, and my 11-month-old son has just executed his fourth unauthorized wake-up routine of the night. I'm sitting on the edge of the glider in the dark, scrolling...
Is the Baby of the Year Scam Actually Stealing Your Data?
My phone buzzed for the fourth time before 9 AM, and I nearly dropped a spit-up covered burp cloth right into my fresh mug of coffee. It was another group text from my cousin, begging our entire extended family to...
Navigating Modern Baby Safety in a Wild World (And My Anxiety)
My mother-in-law told me yesterday that if I even let Maya look at an iPad before she's twelve, I'm basically frying her frontal lobe and guaranteeing she won't get into college. Then, literally an hour later, my best friend texted...
Decoding the True Meaning of Baby (And Other Strange Slang)
I just had to explain the concept of nepotism over FaceTime while my 11-month-old attempted to eat a rogue USB-C cable. My mother-in-law had seen some hashtag on Twitter and wanted to know what the kids were talking about, which...
Why The "Goldie Baby Porn" Search Hijack Changed How I Parent
It was exactly 2:14 AM on a Tuesday, and I was sitting on the edge of the bathtub in those gray fleece sweatpants that have completely lost their waistband elasticity, furiously deleting three years' worth of Instagram photos with a...
The punching babies in public prank is ruining my algorithm
The time was exactly 2:14 AM, the nursery thermostat was reading a stable 69.4 degrees, and I was making the biggest digital mistake of my life. My 11-month-old, Maya, was currently undergoing some sort of developmental firmware update where she...