How A Sugar Baby Watermelon Defeated Me And My Twin Toddlers
If you ever find yourself wondering whether a standard kitchen sponge is abrasive enough to remove dried fruit pulp from a matte-painted wall, let me save you a frantic Google search. It isn't. You need a dedicated scraper and a...
Dear Jess: What I Wish I Knew Before the Baby Hummingbird Incident
Dear Jess of last May, put down the plastic eye dropper and step away from the kitchen counter before you inadvertently commit a federal wildlife crime. Right now, the baby is strapped to your sweaty chest in the carrier, the...
Surviving the American baby copperhead panic as a clueless dad
The humidity in North Carolina in late August is a physical assault, the kind of oppressive heat that makes your clothes feel like a wet apology. I was standing on my American in-laws' patio, clutching a rapidly melting gin and...
Wait, Are Baby Bonnets Safe? My 2 AM Infant Hair Loss Panic
It was exactly 2:14 AM on a Tuesday. I know this because my glowing phone screen was mocking me in the dark. I was sitting in the nursery rocking chair wearing a maternity tank top that smelled strongly of sour...
Debugging Baby Sun Safety: The Great Sunscreen Firmware Update
There's currently a streak of stark white zinc oxide smeared across the black upholstery of my Subaru, a matching smudge on my favorite dark t-shirt, and a suspicious clump stuck in my eleven-month-oldβs left eyebrow. Somehow, despite dispensing what felt...
Why Rescuing That Adorable Coastal Baby Seal Is A Terrible Idea
We were twenty minutes into what was supposed to be a restorative family morning on a Cornish shingle beach, locked in a desperate battle with a pop-up windbreak that refused to pop anywhere but directly into my face, when Twin...
The Backyard Fawn: A Guide To Not Kidnapping Wildlife
Listen, the first time you find a tiny, spotted woodland creature curled up next to your hostas, your brain short-circuits. You immediately assume the worst. You look at this fragile thing breathing shallowly in your mulch, and your mind goes...
Secrets Baby Beach Aruba: The Midnight Hotel Panic
It was 2:14 AM, and I was wearing a fleece bathrobe over a maternity bathing suit top because my four-month-old, Leo, had just spit up breastmilk all over my favorite oversized college tee. My husband Dave was snoring in the...
The Southern Mom's Guide to Clearing Up Baby Summer Skin Bumps
It was July 2019, the thermometer on my back porch in rural Texas read 104 degrees, and my oldest son looked like he had been attacked by a swarm of invisible fire ants. He had these tiny, angry red bumps...