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Tired British dad holding a teething G Baby and a silicone sloth teether in a London flat at 3am

The Night My G Baby Discovered Her Gums (and Destroyed My Sanity)

It was 3:14 in the morning on a Tuesday, and I was sitting on the edge of the bath in our London flat, entirely motionless, letting my daughter chew aggressively on my left clavicle. We had recently started calling her...

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Exhausted mom doing bicycle legs with a crying gassy newborn on a playmat

The 3 AM Fart Wars: Real Gas Relief For Miserable Babies

It's 2:14 in the morning. I'm wearing a stretched-out nursing bra that smells faintly of sour milk and desperation, sitting cross-legged on the nursery rug, furiously pumping my three-week-old son's legs like he's trying to win the Tour de France....

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Exhausted mom holding a fussy newborn over her shoulder while looking at a cold cup of coffee

The Honestly Messy Truth On How To Burp A Baby Without Tears

Dear Sarah from exactly six months ago. You're currently sitting on your sister’s hideous beige microfiber sectional at 3:14 AM. You're wearing your husband Mike’s stained college sweatpants from 2008, the ones with the hole in the left knee. There's...

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Tired mother rocking a toddler in a dark nursery with a smart speaker nearby

Unpacking the hit me baby one more time lyrics at 3 AM

It was 3:14 AM in Chicago. The wind was doing that thing where it aggressively rattles the apartment windows, and my toddler was running a mild fever from an ear infection. I was operating on maybe three hours of broken...

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A tired dad holding a medical binder next to a baby sleeping on a bamboo blanket

System Reboot: Surviving Year One With An HIE Diagnosis

The digital display above the plastic incubator read 33.5 degrees Celsius. I stood there in a yellow isolation gown that was slightly too short for my arms, staring at a screen that looked exactly like a 1990s MS-DOS prompt. I...

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Parent holding a toddler's hand while walking outdoors

That Polo G Lyric Sent Me Down a Terrifying Parenting Rabbit Hole

I was elbow-deep in a tub of Sudocrem, trying to wrestle two screaming two-year-old girls into their nighttime nappies, when a playlist I hadn’t updated since 2019 shuffled onto a track by Polo G. I wasn't really listeningβ€”I was mostly...

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Dad holding twin girls while listening to Daniel Caesar in a messy London flat

The Reality of the Have A Baby With Me Daniel Caesar Lyrics

I was on my hands and knees in our South London flat, using a blunt butter knife to chisel hardened Weetabix off the skirting board, when Spotify’s algorithm decided to serve up a heavy dose of R&B. The song sounded...

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A toddler clinging to a mother's leg while she tries to put on her shoes

How To Say Hasta La Vista Baby Without Losing Your Mind

My right shoe was on. My left shoe was somewhere under the hallway console table. My ten-month-old had a death grip on my sweatpants, wailing like I was walking into a fire instead of just getting a routine dental cleaning....

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A tired dad holding a fresh nappy and baby wipes in a dimly lit nursery.

The 3AM Panic: Why Your Baby's Dark Green Poop Is Usually Fine

It's 3:14 in the morning, and I'm operating entirely by the pale, depressing glow of my phone's flashlight. The four-minute-older twin has decided that sleeping through the night is a scam invented by adults, and she's communicating this via a...

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