Magazine

Three men looking confused while holding a baby and baby gear

What a 1980s Movie Taught Me About Dads and Newborns

Dear Sarah from last October, You're currently sitting in the driver's seat of your Honda Odyssey in a Starbucks parking lot. You're wearing those black Lululemon leggings that have an unidentifiable crusty stain on the left thigh, clutching an iced...

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A toddler with a front tooth gap wearing organic clothes while holding a silicone teether.

My Guide to Every Type of Gap Baby You Will Actually Encounter

I was sitting on the sticky linoleum floor of the Woodfield Mall family restroom when the reality of my life choices hit me. My toddler was screaming at a decibel level that usually triggers a code blue on a pediatric...

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A tired mom holding coffee looking at a baby sleeping safely on their back on an organic cotton playmat.

Why the Baby Got Back Lyrics Actually Make Terrible Parenting Advice

2:14 AM. Tuesday. I'm wearing Dave's old college sweatpants with a mysterious, crusted-over yogurt stain on the knee, desperately bouncing a screaming three-week-old Leo while whisper-rapping the words to Sir Mix-a-Lot in the dark. You know the exact scene from...

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Old stuffed bear sitting on a nursery shelf away from a crib

The vintage toy bin disaster and why 90s plushies stay away

It was a Tuesday afternoon when my mother-in-law hauled a massive plastic tote up from her basement. The lid snapped off to reveal a sea of crushed velvet, holographic tags, and that unmistakable scent of damp cardboard. She was holding...

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A toddler sitting on a rug dressing a soft body doll in an organic cotton bodysuit

Dear past me: The ugly truth about the bitty baby

Dear Priya of six months ago. You're currently sitting on the floor of the Target toy aisle while Maya has a full code blue meltdown over a generic plastic doll with terrifying eyelashes. You're rubbing your temples, staring at the...

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A tired dad staring at a vintage 90s plush toy while twin babies play on a wooden gym

The Birthday Beanie Baby Trap: A Letter to My Tired Past Self

Dear Tom from exactly six months ago, You're currently hunched over your laptop in the glow of a half-eaten digestive biscuit, ignoring the faint sounds of Maya and Chloe practicing their synchronized 2 AM grunting from the other room. You...

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Confused dad holding a baby wearing a stiff vintage denim jacket

Debugging the Y2K Aesthetic When Your Infant Refuses to Flex

We were at our usual Saturday spotβ€”that overly loud Portland coffee roaster where the tables are made of reclaimed shipping palletsβ€”when my eleven-month-old daughter simply stopped working. Her entire motor function API just failed. She was sitting in her high...

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A messy living room floor covered in wooden baby toys and a half-drank cup of coffee.

Why My Real Life Looks Exactly Like a Baby Blues Comic Today

I'm currently sitting on my slightly sticky living room floor with a half-eaten fish cracker stuck to my left knee. My two-year-old is trying to put the dog in a headlock, and the baby just blew out his diaper with...

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A stressed British dad holding twin toddler girls while looking confused at a phone

The Truth About Baby Kia: A Letter To My Past Parenting Self

You're sitting in traffic on the M25. The rain is hammering against the windscreen of the Vauxhall Astra, and the heater is blasting a smell that can only be described as warm, wet digestive biscuit. In the passenger seat is...

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