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Why I Quit Natural Bug Spray for Babies (And What Actually Works)
I was standing on my back porch in East Texas last July, holding a twenty-eight dollar glass bottle of "artisan woodland mist" while a mosquito the size of a Buick casually drank from my oldest kid's leg. Bless my first-time-mom...
The Truth About Chili's Baby Back Ribs For Your Weaning Toddler
It's half past five on a dreary Tuesday, and I'm staring at my twin daughters who look less like children and more like they've just survived a highly localised explosion in a barbecue sauce factory. One of them is wielding...
Why That Viral Cry Baby Popmart Figure Isn't Actually For Your Baby
I was standing at my kitchen sink, elbow-deep in cold oatmeal dishwater, when my 14-year-old niece shoved her phone directly into my face. On the screen was what looked like a perfectly round, tear-streaked child stuffed inside a tiny, fuzzy...
My Beanie Baby Website Search: A Dad's Guide to Winter Hats & Toys
I'm sitting in the artificial blue glow of my MacBook at 3:14 AM, desperately clicking through a retro-looking beanie baby website that looks like it hasn't seen a CSS update since Netscape Navigator was a thing. My 11-month-old son is...
The Hard Truth About Beanie Babies Worth: A Letter to Past Me
Dear Jess of six months ago. Right now, you're standing in the gravel driveway in your pajama pants, squinting in the Texas sun, watching your mom's Honda CR-V idle while she wrestles three massive, dust-caked Rubbermaid tubs out of the...
The Strange Logic of Beanie Babies Birthdays & Safe Sleep
It was exactly 3:14 AM on a Tuesday, and I was standing in the pale, unforgiving light of the open refrigerator, holding a slightly dusty, bright pink plush platypus inside a gallon-sized Ziploc bag. My 11-month-old was finally asleep after...
The clinical truth about stealing that baby yoda name for your kid
I'm staring at a hospital bassinet card at three in the morning in the pediatric ward, reading the name Anakin and quietly judging the parents from the hallway. That was me five years ago. Crisp scrubs, zero kids, and heavily...
Why The Netflix Baby-Sitters Club Cast Changed My Parenting
It was exactly 7:43 PM on a Tuesday, I was wearing a fleece robe that smelled vaguely of sour milk and desperation, and my seven-year-old, Maya, was asking me why the girl on the TV was talking on a phone...
Devon Hodge Brenda's Got a Baby: The True Story
Whatever you do, absolutely don't pull out your phone at 2:13 AM while your four-year-oldβs foot is pressed directly against your windpipe and search for true stories behind 90s rap songs. Because you'll, like me, end up sobbing into a...