Why Your Infant is Basically a Baby Monkey (And Why That's Okay)
It was 3:14 AM, and I was wearing a gray Target nursing tank that smelled strongly of sour milk and desperation. My husband Dave was snoringβnot like a cute, rhythmic rumble, but this full-blown, windows-rattling snore that made me want...
The 3 AM Snot Exorcism: A Guide To Your Baby Nose Sucker
It's 3:14 AM. I'm sitting on the edge of the nursery glider, wearing a nursing bra that definitely smells like sour milk and my husband Dave's faded Pearl Jam t-shirt. My four-month-old, Leo, is making a sound that I can...
Debugging the Pod: Why a Baby Orca is the Best Parenting Blueprint
I'm sitting in the dark at 3:14 AM, watching a nature documentary on mute while my 11-month-old attempts to gnaw off my left collarbone. He's wide awake, absolutely vibrating with energy, while I'm mentally calculating how many minutes of REM...
The Truth About Baby Overalls (And Why I Was Totally Wrong)
It was October 2017, and I was standing in the microscopic, dimly lit bathroom of a neighborhood cafΓ© wearing a silk blouse I had absolutely no business wearing as a new mother, staring down at my six-month-old daughter Maya who...
Dear Past Me: Let's Talk About Baby Constipation And The Panic
You're sitting on the edge of the bathtub right now, staring at a dry diaper under the harsh bathroom light. The exhaust fan is rattling above you. It's three in the morning, and you're exhausted, holding a sleeping infant against...
The Newborn Survival Guide For When You're Running On Empty
Iβm standing in the hallway at 3:14 AM, bouncing on my heels until my calves burn, holding my oldest son who's screaming like Iβve personally offended his ancestors. I keep whispering, "baby come to me, just come here, let me...
Why I Finally Stopped Fighting the Whole Pastel Baby Pink Phase
It was late October 2017, and I was standing in the middle of Target wearing a heather-gray maternity sweater that smelled faintly of the iced Americano I had spilled down my front three hours earlier. I was thirty-eight weeks pregnant...
The Absolute Madness of Picking the Right Baby Pink Color Code
I'm standing in the paint aisle of B&Q at 8:15 on a Tuesday, trying to wipe half-digested porridge off my trousers, when the teenager behind the mixing counter asks me which specific shade of pale pink I want. I look...
Surviving the baby saja costume for kids trend without tears
We were standing in a drafty school gymnasium in Wicker Park when the screaming started. Not the normal toddler whine, but that high-pitched, breathless shriek that makes every parent in a fifty-foot radius freeze. My son was wearing a mass-produced...