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The great baby silicone migration: a dad's troubleshooting guide
My mother-in-law texted me a picture of a 1980s plastic playpen yesterday, assuring me that my wife gnawed on the rails for months and turned out completely fine. Ten minutes later, my neighborβwho brews her own rainwater kombuchaβleaned over our...
Is the Job of a Brand Ambassador Actually Worth the Stress?
I'm currently wedged between our coffee table and a dangerously overloaded laundry basket, holding a smartphone at a 45-degree angle while making desperate clicking noises with my tongue. My 11-month-old son is supposed to be interacting thoughtfully with a visually...
The Truth About New Baby Gifts (And Why I Burned a Cardigan)
Itβs late October 2017. I'm sitting on the edge of a remarkably uncomfortable IKEA glider in my dimly lit nursery, wearing a nursing bra that smells intensely like sour milk and sheer desperation. I'm holding my three-day-old daughter, Maya, who's...
Dear Past Priya: The Truth About Infant Car Seats
You're currently sitting on the garage floor in your maternity leggings. There's a half-eaten granola bar on the bumper of the Honda, the manual for the convertible seat is open to page forty-two, and you're quietly crying because the little...
The 3 AM Plastic Meltdown That Redefined Babys Spielzeug For Me
It was 3:14 AM on a Tuesday, and I was wearing my husbandβs inexplicably stained college sweatpants. Leo, who was eight months old at the time and deep into a sleep regression that made me question all my life choices,...
Dear Tom: The Truth About Buying A Baby Quilt
Dear Tom of six months ago, You're currently sitting on the floor of the landing outside the twins' room at 3:14 AM. Your lower back is pressed against the radiator, you've a Calpol syringe in your breast pocket like a...
Why That Viral Baby Saja Trend Totally Freaked Me Out
It was 8:14 on a Tuesday morning and I was wearing Daveβs college sweatpants with a hardened crust of what I think was blueberry oatmeal on the knee, aggressively pressing the brew button on my coffee maker for the third...
Why I Took Kitchen Scissors to My Infant's First Pair of Sneakers
I was sweating through my shirt in a Target parking lot in late October, wrestling with a foot that looked exactly like a Hawaiian sweet roll. My oldest son was eight months old, and I was determined to get him...
The Have a Baby With Me Daniel Caesar Lie You Actually Believe
I was sitting in my Honda CR-V in the garage with the engine off. It was a Tuesday. My toddler was finally asleep upstairs, and I was just staring at the steering wheel while the Bluetooth kept playing whatever Spotify...