The 3AM Pumping Crisis and the Tiny Machine That Saved Us
The kitchen tiles in our London flat are roughly the temperature of a mortuary slab at 2:14 in the morning. I know this because I was lying face down on them last Tuesday, desperately searching for a microscopic silicone membrane...
Dear Past Marcus: Please Stop Overcomplicating the Baby Registry
You're currently sweating through your vintage Timbers hoodie, keeping nineteen browser tabs open, hovering your cursor over an "Add to Cart" button for a Bluetooth-enabled diaper pail. I need you to step away from the keyboard. It's me. Future Marcus....
What I Wish I Knew Before Buying a Bike Seat for My Baby
Dear Jess from six months ago, You're currently sitting on the concrete floor of the garage, sweating through your favorite oversized t-shirt in this humid Texas heat, trying to decipher an instruction manual that appears to be written entirely in...
A Letter To Myself Before Buying That Artipoppe Baby Carrier
Dear Tom of six months ago. You're currently hiding in the downstairs loo, aren't you? The twins are simultaneously screaming in the living room, there's a distinct smell of sour milk on your favourite jumper, and you're staring at your...
Why I Have Major Trust Issues With Heavy Recaro Baby Car Seats
I was standing in our crushed-granite driveway in late August, sweat pooling in places I didn't know could sweat, trying to shove a piece of metal and memory foam the size of a mini-fridge into the back of my SUV....
Why My Husband's Tactical Baby Carrier Actually Drives Me Crazy
"You're going to overheat that poor child in that bulletproof vest," my mom announced from the kitchen island, staring at the massive olive-green rig strapped to my husband's chest. Not five minutes later, his hunting buddy Mike texted him a...
The Great British Baby Buggy Illusion and What Actually Works
I'm currently wedged in the doorway of a Costa Coffee in Balham, the rear left wheel of our double transport system inexplicably locked, whilst twin A attempts to lick the condensation off the glass and twin B practices a high-pitched...
When Pumping Hardware And Hospital Photoshoots Suddenly Collide
The machine strapped to my wifeβs chest sounded exactly like a PlayStation 4 struggling to render a massive game file. It was a rhythmic, mechanical grinding noise that echoed off the sterile walls of our postpartum recovery room. We were...
Raising A Brooklyn Baby Without Losing Your Mind Or Floor Space
Sitting on the floor of my sister's fourth-floor walk-up in Park Slope, I was aggressively sweating while trying to collapse a luxury stroller with one hand. I was holding a screaming six-month-old in the other. Someone in the apartment below...