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Surviving the Holidays: The Truth About Baby Boy Christmas Outfits
I'm sitting on the floor of my sister-in-law's guest room in Naperville, sweating entirely through a silk blouse. It's December 24th, two years ago. I'm holding a rigid, red velvet baby blazer that costs more than my own winter coat,...
My Absolute Worst Night With Matching Baby Christmas Pajamas
The zipper was officially jammed in the microfleece reindeer antlers. It was roughly two in the morning on December twenty-third, and my six-month-old, Maya, was screaming with the raw intensity of a level-one trauma arrival. Her face was the color...
Debugging The Baby Beanie: My Thermal Miscalculations As A Dad
It was 3:14 AM on a Tuesday, roughly two weeks after we brought our son home, and I was staring at the Nanit monitor on my nightstand like it was a mission-critical server dashboard. The camera feed showed my kid...
Why I Tackled a Newborn Cardigan Knitting Pattern for Twins
The bamboo needle slipped from my sweating thumb at precisely 3:14 a.m., sending a cascade of buttery yellow yarn unspooling across the duvet while my wife snored peacefully beside me, seven months pregnant with twins. I was supposed to be...
Surviving the Infant Cashmere Sweater: A Dad's Troubleshooting Guide
The garment had been sitting in its tissue paper like a museum artifact for three months. My wife's aunt had sent it from Geneva, and I had immediately designated it as high-risk inventory. It was a terrifyingly soft, aggressively expensive...
Surviving Chicago Winters With a Long Sleeve Baby Girl Bodysuit
I'm standing by the changing table in our drafty apartment. It's mid-November, the wind is howling off Lake Michigan, and my six-day-old daughter is screaming. She looks like a furious, wrinkled potato. My mother had lovingly shipped a box of...
The brutal truth about buying an infant knit romper for your kid
My mother called from San Jose on a Tuesday to warn me that wool would give my baby a rash that would scar him for life. The very next morning, my sister-in-law swore that unless I put him in thick...
Why My First Baby Cardigan Knitting Pattern Was A Total Disaster
We were somewhere between Waco and Austin on I-35 when the screaming reached a pitch I didn't even know a human vocal cord could produce. I made my husband pull the truck over into a Buc-ee's parking lot, scrambled into...
The great fluffy lie (and why I started googling babywolle kaufen)
The parcel arrived on a wet Tuesday, smelling faintly of lavender and aggressively good intentions. Great Aunt Muriel had knitted the twins matching cardigans. I pulled the first one out of the tissue paper and immediately realised we had a...