Surviving Twin Bath Time And The Suction Cup Seat Illusion
Before I had even figured out how to turn on the taps in a way that wouldnβt instantly scold or freeze my daughters, I was already fielding contradictory instructions from everyone I knew about how to wash them. My mother-in-law...
Debugging the Baby Bag: The Mobile Hardware You Actually Need
I'm standing on the wet sidewalk outside Stumptown Coffee on SE Belmont, holding my eleven-month-old son at arm's length like he's a highly unstable radioactive isotope. It's forty-three degrees, misting in that relentless Pacific Northwest way, and my child has...
Debugging The Complete System Failure Of Dressing A Baby Boy
I'm currently staring at a pair of dark wash, rigid denim jeans in size 9-12 months. My son is actively executing a perfect alligator death roll on the changing pad, and I'm supposed to somehow force his chaotic, rapidly expanding...
Backyard Baby Ducks: A Dad's Guide to Feathers, Fluff, and Chaos
If you've ever seen a cartoon or read a children's book, you probably think a baby duckβs default state is bobbing happily in a crystal-clear pond while eating breadcrumbs, which is exactly why I nearly short-circuited when my wife pointed...
Why the happy baby pose saved my structurally ruined spine
When my lower back finally gave out, I received three distinct pieces of advice from three very different people. My mother-in-law told me I needed to sleep on a plank of pine wood because thatβs what her uncle did in...
The Brutal Truth About Frida Baby Gadgets from a Mom of Three
The biggest myth about bringing a newborn home isn't about the sleep deprivationβit's this weird internet lie that you're going to maintain your dignity while dealing with bodily fluids. Instagram shows you these beige, spotless nurseries where some glowing mother...
A Letter To Myself About Raising My Down Syndrome Baby And Her Twin
Dear Tom from six months ago, put down the NHS developmental milestone leaflet before you give yourself a stress-induced ulcer. You're currently sitting on the beige nursery rug, mainlining cold coffee, watching Millie try to scale the bookshelf while Daisy...
My Utterly Chaotic Search For The Best Baby Formula In 2025
I've got a fine dusting of white powder on my black jeans, a screaming toddler attached to my left leg, and I'm staring at a tiny plastic scoop like it holds the absolute secrets to the universe. It's exactly 3:14...
Dear Past Tom: The Truth About Achieving That Baby Smoove Skin
Dear Tom from six months ago, You're currently sitting on the cold tiles of the downstairs loo at 3:14 AM, the only room in the house where you can turn on a light without waking your wife or the twins....