Why My Teething Twins Turned Into Beavers (And What I Learned)
The sound woke me at 3:14 AM. It wasnβt a cry, or a whimper, or even that wet, raspy cough that instantly deducts forty quid from your bank account because you panic-buy every brand of vapor rub at the all-night...
Debugging The 90s Plush Stash: The Great Beanie Baby Tag Dilemma
I was sitting cross-legged on the nursery floor at 10 AM on a Saturday, entirely surrounded by a 30-gallon plastic storage bin of my childhood. My mom had just dropped off the "archives," grinning like she had just unburdened herself...
Why Skipper Babysitters Inc Dolls Terrify Me As A Parent
I'm currently on my hands and knees in our London flat, using a high-powered camping headlamp to scan the living room rug for a piece of pink plastic no larger than a grain of rice. The grand parenting lie is...
Banana pancakes for baby: Why my first twin batch was a disaster
The smoke alarm in our London flat has a very specific, piercing shriek that usually only makes an appearance when I attempt to be culinary before 7 am. Tuesday morning was no exception. I was standing in the kitchen, squinting...
Dear Past Jess: A Survival Guide to the Teething Phase
Dear Jess from six months ago, who's currently sitting on the living room rug, staring blankly at a mountain of tiny socks while watching your youngest child gnaw aggressively on the wooden leg of the coffee table like a feral...
Why a Baby Wombat Video Ruined My Tuesday (And Other Lessons)
It's exactly 3:14 AM on a Tuesday, and I'm standing barefoot on the freezing kitchen tile wearing my husband Dave's oversized tech-conference t-shirt from 2016, trying to explain to my weeping four-year-old why I can't sew a pouch onto her...
Why the Zoe Baby Stroller Destroyed My Double Buggy Myths
I was wedged firmly in the doorway of a rather nice independent coffee shop in Soho, sweating profusely through a supposedly breathable linen shirt, while a queue of deeply unamused Londoners judged me. I was pushing a twin pram that...
The Real Deal on Feeding Your Baby Spinach Without the Tears
My mom told me to boil it on the stove until it completely surrendered and turned into a gray mush. My mother-in-law, bless her heart, swore up and down that applying any heat at all destroys the vitamins and I...
The truth about baby Sinclair sleep advice and 90s dinosaurs
It's 3:14 AM on a Tuesday, and I've got cold, regurgitated milk drying on my left shoulder while attempting to type search queries into my phone with my nose. Florence is screaming because she's awake, and Matilda is screaming because...