Magazine

Pregnant woman holding a coffee cup and laughing at a baby shower bingo card

Why Baby Shower Bingo Actually Saves the Entire Gift Opening Hour

"Don't do games, they're for basic bitches," my sister-in-law hissed at me across a lukewarm plate of mini quiches while balancing a mimosa on her hip. Then my mother leaned in, smelling heavily of Chanel No. 5 and unsolicited judgment,...

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A tired mom holding a silicone panda teether while her toddler dances in the living room

My Messy Guide to Surviving All Three Kinds of Baby Sharks

I'm standing in the downstairs bathroom at six in the morning, holding a plastic light-up dinosaur flashlight between my teeth, trying to pry my five-year-old's jaw open while he thrashes around like a feral raccoon trapped in a feed bin....

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A toddler doing the baby shark dance in a messy living room

A Letter to My Past Self About Surviving the Baby Shark Dance

Dear Priya from six months ago. You're standing in the kitchen right now. There's a half-eaten piece of toast on the counter and your chai is stone cold. Your sixteen-month-old is in the center of the living room, bouncing at...

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Marcus holding a coffee mug while looking at search results for baby saja boys on his laptop

Why I Spent Three Hours Googling Baby Saja Boys At 2 AM

Dear Marcus from six months ago. You're currently sitting in the dark on the nursery floor, the temperature logged at exactly 68.4 degrees, watching the baby monitor app like it's compiling a critical system update. You haven't slept more than...

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Toddler in organic cotton pointing at a pink baby rose bush in a Texas yard

Dear Jess: Please Stop Panicking About That Prickly Baby Rose Bush

Dear Jess from six months ago, I know exactly where you're right now. You're standing at the kitchen window, staring out at the sweltering Texas yard with a cup of coffee that went cold three hours ago. You’ve got a...

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Jess looking shocked at her phone while her toddlers play with blocks

The Truth About the Baby Reindeer Cast Before You Hit Search

I was elbow-deep in a pile of clean laundry that had been sitting on the armchair for four solid days, casually typing "baby reindeer" into my phone with one thumb. I was just trying to find a matching woodland holiday...

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Confused London dad looking at a screeching bald baby pukeko in a ditch

Letter to Myself: Surviving the Baby Pukeko Encounter

Dear Tom of six months ago, You're currently sitting on the floor of the flat in Hackney, aggressively trying to cram forty-two nappies and a mountain of wipes into a suitcase that was clearly designed for a weekend in Paris,...

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A tiny green baby praying mantis crawling on my finger while my 11-month-old tries to grab it in our kitchen.

Surviving a Baby Praying Mantis Hatch With an 11-Month-Old Kid

It was 6:15 AM on a Tuesday, and I was staring at a plastic mesh butterfly pavilion on my kitchen counter like I was waiting for a server to reboot. I held a plastic spray bottle in one hand, completely...

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A dad looking confused while holding a clean baby nappy

A dad's honest survival guide to baby poop colors and nappies

My mother-in-law told me mustard yellow means they're digesting their milk perfectly. The NCT instructor casually mentioned that anything even slightly green requires immediate, intensive medical intervention. And a bloke at our local pubβ€”who freely admitted he hasn't held a...

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