Magazine

Tired mom holding a teething baby while watching anime on television

Otaku Parenting and the Messy Reality of Cute Anime Baby Trends

My sister-in-law cornered me at a family barbecue, holding a dripping hot dog that was dangerously close to my sweater, to insist that if I didn't dress four-month-old Leo in a full Naruto outfit for his first official photos, I...

Read more

A messy living room showing the reality of a newborn baby invasion with scattered burp cloths and sleep sacks.

Surviving the Real Baby Invasion Without Completely Losing Your Mind

It was day four. The milk had just come in. My living room was littered with breast pump parts, half-empty water bottles, and those terrible mesh hospital underwear. My husband was sitting on the edge of the sofa, bathed in...

Read more

An exhausted mom sitting on the nursery floor holding a crying newborn baby in the middle of the night.

Baby I'm Yours: The Real Cost of Bringing Your First Home

I vividly remember sitting in the driver's seat of my beat-up Ford Escape in a sweltering South Texas Target parking lot, nine months pregnant with my oldest. The air conditioner was fighting for its life, and I was blasting my...

Read more

A nursery filled with shaggy cow decor and baby teething toys

Why The Baby Highland Cow Trend Completely Took Over My Life

There's a piece of dried pampas grass currently jabbing me in the left nostril as I bend over to pick up a discarded sock, and I've just realized I'm staring directly into the soulful, watercolor eyes of a shaggy Scottish...

Read more

Metal safety barrier hardware mounted at the top of a wooden staircase swinging outward toward the hallway

My Humiliating Physics Lesson on Staircase Barriers

I was standing at the top of our fourteen-step Portland craftsman staircase holding a plastic tension rod barrier, a laser level, and a completely false sense of confidence. My wife, Sarah, paused on her way to the kitchen, shifting our...

Read more

Twin babies in a double buggy wearing safe baby earrings

The Panicked Dad's Guide to Buying Tiny Metal Ear Ornaments

The 19-year-old holding what looked like a neon pink staple gun was snapping her chewing gum with rhythmic, terrifying precision. I stood perfectly still on the sticky floor of the high street accessory shop, gripping the handle of the double...

Read more

Exhausted British dad holding twins and a stack of unhelpful baby manuals

The Myth of the Book Baby and Why My Twins Refused to Read It

At twenty past three on a damp Tuesday morning in our entirely too small London flat, I found myself holding a screaming infant in one arm while desperately trying to flip the pages of a sleep-training manual with my teeth....

Read more

A stressed mom holding a baby while a smart speaker plays music.

When Britney Spears ...Baby One More Time Ruined Our Tuesday

The snow outside our Chicago apartment was coming down completely sideways. It was day three of being trapped indoors with a 6-month-old who had abruptly decided that afternoon naps were a biological construct he no longer believed in. I was...

Read more

Wooden Kianao baby gym with leaf and moon hanging toys

The Josh Naylor Playoff Baby Situation and MLB Paternity Leave

Don't attempt to fix a P1 production bug while your wife's contractions are exactly three minutes apart. I thought I could deploy a quick hotfix from the triage room at Providence Portland while we waited for a doctor. My wife,...

Read more