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Exhausted dad typing on a laptop with one hand while an 11-month-old baby sleeps on his chest

Lil Baby All On Me: Surviving The Intense Velcro Infant Phase

I tried the heating pad trick first. You know the oneβ€”you warm up the crib mattress so when you lower the sleeping infant onto the sheets, they don't detect a temperature drop and sound the alarm. I even wore the...

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A stressed dad looking at a laptop screen while holding a sleeping baby in a bamboo sleep bag

System Failure: A First-Time Dad's Guide to the Kyte Baby Sale

Dear Marcus from exactly six months ago, I'm writing this to you as you sit at your dual-monitor setup at 9:58 AM on a Thursday, sweating through your gray Portland Timbers t-shirt. You've got three browser windows open, your credit...

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A stressed father holding two toddlers while looking at a water leak on the ceiling.

What the Katrina babies taught me about parenting in a crisis

It was a wet Tuesday afternoon in November when the kitchen ceiling began to ominously bow, creating a distended, watery underbelly right above the toaster. A pipe had burst somewhere in the floorboards above, and as I desperately tried to...

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Exhausted mom looking at a pink bottle of baby moisturizer in a messy nursery.

The Truth About Johnson's Baby Lotion and Millennial Guilt

I was standing in the infant care aisle of Target at 9:43 PM on a random Tuesday, eight months pregnant with Maya, wearing my husband Dave’s horribly stained college sweatpants, and having a low-grade panic attack while staring at a...

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Tired dad holding a bottle of baby wash next to twin girls

A letter to myself about Johnson and Johnson baby shampoo

Dear Tom of exactly six months ago, You're currently standing in the baby aisle of the High Street Kensington Boots, staring blankly at a wall of brightly coloured plastic bottles, sweating profusely into your jumper. You have a pram the...

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Dad holding a very large and heavy 11-month-old baby in a sustainable organic cotton bodysuit

Raising a Jimbo Boss Baby: Firmware Updates for Heavy Infants

The blue line on the pediatrician’s monitor shot up into the top right quadrant like a server load graph during a DDoS attack. I adjusted my glasses. My wife shifted in her chair. Our 11-month-old son sat on the examination...

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Exhausted dad in a dark room holding an infant while looking at a smartphone

Troubleshooting the 3 AM Baby Glitch and Other Night Terrors

My thumb was hovering over the backspace key at 3:14 AM, the harsh blue light of my phone screen illuminating the spit-up crusted on my shoulder. I had managed to type exactly six letters into the search bar with my...

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Twin girls playing on a rug surrounded by organic cotton baby clothing and wooden toys.

The real truth about ivf babies disadvantages and infant health

I'm staring at a glowing phone screen at 4:13 a.m. while one of my two-year-old twin daughters uses my left kidney as a trampoline. Years ago, long before these tiny terrors existed, I was staring at the exact same screen...

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Exhausted mom holding a crying newborn in a dimly lit nursery.

The 3 AM Breakdown When I Realized That The Baby Is Actually You

It was 3:14 AM on a Tuesday, and I was sitting on the cold linoleum of my hallway, sobbing into a burp cloth that smelled heavily of sour milk. My oldest son, Wyattβ€”who now at age four is a perfectly...

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