Magazine

Exhausted dad in a messy Portland kitchen staring at a baby monitor

Why your favorite audio show won't patch your infant's firmware

It’s 3:17 AM. The Portland rain is aggressively smacking against the kitchen window. I've exactly one AirPod in, listening to some pediatric sleep guru explain the best ambient temperature for a nursery, while my sonβ€”an 11-month-old dictator I lovingly refer...

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Dad holding a tiny sheepskin winter boot next to an 11-month-old baby.

Dear Past Marcus: The Truth About the Ugg Baby Boot Obsession

It's 4:12 PM on a rainy Tuesday in late November, and you're sweating completely through your flannel shirt while crouched on the mudroom floor trying to shove an angry, curled-up infant foot into a ridiculously expensive miniature sheepskin tube. You're...

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Teething baby chewing on a silicone sushi toy while wearing a soft organic cotton outfit to manage excessive drool.

Lil Baby Drip Too Hard: A Mom's Guide to Drool and Outfits

I was elbow-deep in a blowout that had somehow breached the diaper barrier and traveled all the way up my youngest son's back when my fifteen-year-old nephew strolled into the living room. He stopped dead in his tracks, stared at...

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A stressed dad looking at a laptop screen while holding a sleeping baby in a bamboo sleep bag

System Failure: A First-Time Dad's Guide to the Kyte Baby Sale

Dear Marcus from exactly six months ago, I'm writing this to you as you sit at your dual-monitor setup at 9:58 AM on a Thursday, sweating through your gray Portland Timbers t-shirt. You've got three browser windows open, your credit...

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A secure non-wifi baby monitor sitting on a wooden nursery dresser

The kriss_baby monitor panic and why your nursery needs a digital d...

The green light on the nursery camera was blinking out of sync with the router. It's a tiny detail, but when you spend your days working pediatric triage, you get highly attuned to the rhythm of blinking lights. In the...

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A tired mom holding a baby while looking at a smartphone in a dimly lit nursery.

What the King Harris Baby Drama Taught Me About Surviving Newborns

Dear Jess from six months ago. I know exactly where you're right now, and I'm just gonna be real with youβ€”you need to put the phone down. You're sitting on the very edge of the rocking chair in the nursery,...

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A stressed father holding two toddlers while looking at a water leak on the ceiling.

What the Katrina babies taught me about parenting in a crisis

It was a wet Tuesday afternoon in November when the kitchen ceiling began to ominously bow, creating a distended, watery underbelly right above the toaster. A pipe had burst somewhere in the floorboards above, and as I desperately tried to...

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A dad looking exhausted while holding a smartphone and a baby teether.

Josh and Aubree Jones Named Their Baby Disney (And I Get It)

Dear past Tom You're currently sitting on the bathroom floor at 3:14 AM, using a cold, damp flannel to wipe what you fervently hope is pureed parsnip off your left shoulder. Beatrice (the twin who currently believes she's a domesticated...

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London dad covered in white dust changing a baby nappy at 3am.

Surviving The Dust Cloud: Johnson's Baby Powder & Nappy Rash

It’s 3:14 AM on a Tuesday. The heating in our London flat is making that ominous clanking sound that usually precedes a massive repair bill, and Florence (Twin A, currently the undisputed heavyweight champion of dramatic screaming) has decided her...

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