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Exhausted dad in a messy Portland kitchen staring at a baby monitor

Why your favorite audio show won't patch your infant's firmware

It’s 3:17 AM. The Portland rain is aggressively smacking against the kitchen window. I've exactly one AirPod in, listening to some pediatric sleep guru explain the best ambient temperature for a nursery, while my son—an 11-month-old dictator I lovingly refer...

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Dad holding a tiny sheepskin winter boot next to an 11-month-old baby.

Dear Past Marcus: The Truth About the Ugg Baby Boot Obsession

It's 4:12 PM on a rainy Tuesday in late November, and you're sweating completely through your flannel shirt while crouched on the mudroom floor trying to shove an angry, curled-up infant foot into a ridiculously expensive miniature sheepskin tube. You're...

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Teething baby chewing on a silicone sushi toy while wearing a soft organic cotton outfit to manage excessive drool.

Lil Baby Drip Too Hard: A Mom's Guide to Drool and Outfits

I was elbow-deep in a blowout that had somehow breached the diaper barrier and traveled all the way up my youngest son's back when my fifteen-year-old nephew strolled into the living room. He stopped dead in his tracks, stared at...

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A stressed dad looking at a laptop screen while holding a sleeping baby in a bamboo sleep bag

System Failure: A First-Time Dad's Guide to the Kyte Baby Sale

Dear Marcus from exactly six months ago, I'm writing this to you as you sit at your dual-monitor setup at 9:58 AM on a Thursday, sweating through your gray Portland Timbers t-shirt. You've got three browser windows open, your credit...

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A secure non-wifi baby monitor sitting on a wooden nursery dresser

The kriss_baby monitor panic and why your nursery needs a digital d...

The green light on the nursery camera was blinking out of sync with the router. It's a tiny detail, but when you spend your days working pediatric triage, you get highly attuned to the rhythm of blinking lights. In the...

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A tired mom holding a baby while looking at a smartphone in a dimly lit nursery.

What the King Harris Baby Drama Taught Me About Surviving Newborns

Dear Jess from six months ago. I know exactly where you're right now, and I'm just gonna be real with you—you need to put the phone down. You're sitting on the very edge of the rocking chair in the nursery,...

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A stressed father holding two toddlers while looking at a water leak on the ceiling.

What the Katrina babies taught me about parenting in a crisis

It was a wet Tuesday afternoon in November when the kitchen ceiling began to ominously bow, creating a distended, watery underbelly right above the toaster. A pipe had burst somewhere in the floorboards above, and as I desperately tried to...

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A dad looking exhausted while holding a smartphone and a baby teether.

Josh and Aubree Jones Named Their Baby Disney (And I Get It)

Dear past Tom You're currently sitting on the bathroom floor at 3:14 AM, using a cold, damp flannel to wipe what you fervently hope is pureed parsnip off your left shoulder. Beatrice (the twin who currently believes she's a domesticated...

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London dad covered in white dust changing a baby nappy at 3am.

Surviving The Dust Cloud: Johnson's Baby Powder & Nappy Rash

It’s 3:14 AM on a Tuesday. The heating in our London flat is making that ominous clanking sound that usually precedes a massive repair bill, and Florence (Twin A, currently the undisputed heavyweight champion of dramatic screaming) has decided her...

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