University of South Alabama Baby Babysitter Program Truths
When I needed to leave my kid for the first time, my mother-in-law told me to just find a neighborhood girl and pay her five dollars an hour because she survived that exact scenario in the eighties. A week later,...
Surviving The Man Dog Baby Triangle: A New Dad's Guide To Chaos
Pixel's nose is shoved so far under the bathroom door he's practically snorting the bathmat, while eleven-month-old Leo is in the tub trying to eat a soapy washcloth. I'm currently typing this one-handed on my phone, damp from a recent...
Finding Fangs: When Do Cats Lose Their Baby Teeth
Listen. I was pulling dried oatmeal off Maya's favorite baby tee when I stepped on the needle. It wasn't a sewing needle, though. I reached down to rub my heel, fully expecting to pull out a rogue piece of plastic...
Wait What Whiskey Is Balcones Baby Blue Doing In The Nursery
I was sitting on my living room floor surrounded by crumpled pastel tissue paper and half-opened gift bags from my baby shower. My mother-in-law was perched on the sofa keeping a literal ledger of who bought what so the thank-you...
My Chaotic Weekend Learning How to Smoke Baby Back Ribs With Kids
I was elbow-deep in raw pork juice at 6:15 AM on a Saturday, staring blankly at a massive, slippery cut of meat while Maya, who's seven and currently entrenched in her "question everything" phase, stood three inches from my hip...
The "stump tail baby lala" incident and other newborn horrors
It was 3:14 AM on our third day home from the hospital, and I was holding a freshly un-nappied twin at arm's length, staring in abject horror at her abdomen. Attached to her tiny, perfect belly was a shriveling, alien...
What I Actually Learned From The Mother Baby Nurse On My Worst Night
It was 4:12 AM and I was sitting on the cold hexagon tiles of my bathroom floor, leaking from literally everywhere. Maya was exactly four days old. My older kid, Leo, who was three at the time, was blessedly asleep...
Decoding the Angel Emoji Baby: What It Really Means for Parents
I was sitting in the front seat of my Honda Odyssey in the Target parking lot yesterday, aggressively sucking down an iced latte that had already started to separate into that weird milky water at the bottom, wearing leggings that...
When Katie And Bill Consult Lawyer About Luna's Baby Custody
I'm up to my elbows in matched toddler socksβwhich is to say, exactly three pairs and forty singlesβwhen I hear the TV blaring from the living room. My mom is visiting to help out, and she's got The Bold and...