Magazine
Ditching the Cringe: Baby Shower Activities People Actually Like
I was standing in my sister-in-law's cramped kitchen, holding a flimsy plastic spoon, trying to scrape melted, lukewarm Snickers out of a newborn diaper while seven women I barely knew stared at me in absolute silence. The chocolate had congealed...
The Truth About Finding A Free Baby Dragon Emote Code Online
I was standing at the kitchen island yesterday, elbow-deep in shipping labels for my Etsy shop and trying to scrape dried oatmeal off a highchair tray, when my oldest shoved my iPad directly into my face. He is four and...
Is It Floppy Baby Syndrome? Why Your Infant Feels Like A Ragdoll
My smartwatch buzzed with an abnormal heart rate alert right as my son's shoulders completely collapsed through my hands. It was week fourteen, roughly 2:15 AM, and I was just trying to execute a standard crib transfer. I had him...
Debugging the Roblox Baby Nessie Meltdown
Whatever you do, don't try to explain the mathematics of random number generation to an eight-year-old who's actively weeping onto your couch cushions. I learned this the hard way last Saturday. My nephew Leo was visiting for the weekend, huddled...
A letter to my past self about having a first IVF baby
I'm currently staring at a giant red plastic sharps container sitting entirely too close to my half-empty, ice-cold mug of coffee on the bathroom counter. Itβs six months ago, and my best friend Rachel is sobbing on the phone because...
Why My Newborn Looked Like the Eraserhead Baby (And How We Survived)
It was 3:17 in the morning, a steady London drizzle was blurring the streetlights outside our flat, and I was staring into the hallway mirror holding what appeared to be a hostile alien organism. My hair, unwashed for four days,...
Surviving The Absolute Carnage Of The Modern Envy Baby Phase
At precisely 2:14 PM last Tuesday, Florence made the fatal mistake of looking at a blue plastic cup. She didn't touch the cup. She didn't even point her sticky, jam-covered finger at the cup. She merely glanced at it with...
What an elon musk baby mama taught me about dad anxiety
It was 3:14 AM on a Tuesday, and my 11-month-old son was doing this weird, rhythmic dolphin-screech breathing in my arms. Every time I tried to transfer him to the crib, his internal gyroscope detected the change in altitude and...
The Truth About Baby Skin Flare-Ups (And Why I Stopped Panicking)
I was sitting on the edge of the bathtub in Daveβs grey Georgetown hoodieβthe one that already had three distinct spit-up stains on the left shoulderβwatching my four-month-old son try to rub his own face off. Seriously. Little Leo was...