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My Honest Review Of Aveeno Baby Products And Daily Bathing Myths
Itβs 7:42 PM on a Tuesday, I've half a lukewarm mug of microwave-reheated Folgers balanced precariously on the toilet tank, and my mother-in-law is texting me asking if Iβm giving four-month-old Leo a "proper bath" tonight. The sheer panic that...
The late-night angela baby search and other postpartum traps
Dear past Priya. You're sitting in the nursing chair right now at three in the morning. The glow of the screen is illuminating the dark circles under your eyes. You smell like sour milk and fenugreek. The baby is finally...
Debugging Stage 1 Baby Food: A Dad's First Bites Protocol
It's 6:14 PM on a Tuesday, and I'm currently staring at a splatter of bright orange sweet potato puree on my kitchen ceiling. I'm trying to reverse-engineer the physics of how a human being weighing exactly 16.4 pounds managed to...
The tatu baby search that completely broke my dad brain at 2 AM
2:14 AM. The nursery is exactly 68.5 degrees. The white noise machine is pushing out a continuous loop of brown noise at precisely 42 decibels. My 11-month-old daughter is asleep on my chest, breathing 32 times a minute. I know...
The Real Signs of Ear Infection in Baby (And What to Ignore)
I'm just gonna be real with youβif I had a dollar for every time my mother-in-law gasped and said, "Oh, he's tugging his ear, it's an infection!" I could have paid off my student loans by now. When my oldest,...
Why a baby cast and an indie film is a terrible Friday night
It's 8:14 PM on a Friday, and my left hand is currently bonded to a Tupperware container of rapidly hardening purple alginate, while Rachel Sennott has a full-blown panic attack on my television screen. My wife is desperately trying to...
The Ruka Baby Monster Error: Troubleshooting 2 AM Meltdowns
It was 3:14 AM on a Tuesday, raining sideways against our Portland apartment windows, and I was actively bleeding from my left collarbone. My 11-month-old daughter had bypassed crying entirely and escalated straight to physical violence. I was holding her...
My Fictional Gangster Baby Daddy and the Reality of Co-Parenting
When we first found out we were having twins, the unsolicited advice arrived with the speed and aggression of a flock of London pigeons spotting a dropped chip. Three different people gave me entirely contradictory instructions on how to handle...
The Real Baby's Day Out Cast Needs a Lot More Than Movie Magic
My mother-in-law told me to just toss him in the grocery cart basket with a knitted blanket and call it a day. The teenage checkout clerk at HEB confidently informed me that babies shouldn't leave the house until they're at...