Navigating The Difference Between Gas Bubbles And Baby Moving
It was 11:42 PM on a Tuesday, I was wearing Daveβs stained college sweatpants that smelled vaguely of old laundry detergent, and I was absolutely convinced there was an alien trying to claw its way out of my lower intestine....
When Can You Finally Stop Burping Your Baby? A Mom's Honest Story
I remember sitting in the dark in the rocking chair that squeaked every time I leaned back, aggressively patting my oldest son's back like I was trying to dislodge a stuck vending machine snack. It was probably 3:14 AM on...
When Do You Actually Stop Burping a Baby? An Honest Dad Guide
Dear Tom from six months agoβor rather, let's cast our minds all the way back to the dark trenches when the twins were tiny, because time is a flat, milk-stained circle and my trauma has simply manifested as a letter...
When Can You Find Out the Gender of a Baby? A Messy Guide
When I was barely six weeks pregnant with Leo, sitting at a lukewarm brunch while desperately trying not to hurl into my overpriced oatmeal and clutching my third decaf coffee like a lifeline, I got three entirely different timelines for...
Why I Traded My Spine for a Cheap Carrier (And What I Buy Now)
We were halfway up Enchanted Rock in the dead of a Texas July, and I was absolutely convinced my spine was going to snap in two. My oldestβbless his heart, he was the guinea pig for literally every parenting mistake...
Sorting Out the Mess: Are Jelly Babies Safe for Your Toddler?
So there I was at our big family barbecue last Sunday, balancing my six-month-old on my hip while trying to wrangle my toddler away from the sprinkler, when the contradictory advice started rolling in. My mom, bless her heart, told...
When Can I Know the Sex of the Baby? A Data-Driven Dad's Guide
I was sitting in a dimly lit, heavily sanitized room in downtown Portland, staring at a monitor that looked like a broken television from 1994, trying to parse the pixelated static to figure out if I was having a boy...
Why You Must Buy Baby Bibs Organic: A Pediatric Nurse Explains
I was staring at a laundry basket overflowing with thirty-two polyester-blend baby shower gifts when I realized my registry was a massive failure. Before I had my son, I thought these fabric scraps were just cute accessories to tie an...
Why Japanese Newborn Clothes Actually Save Your Sanity With A Baby
Let me tell you the biggest lie the baby industry ever sold us: that newborns need to wear actual outfits. I'm talking about miniature denim overalls, stiff corduroy suspender sets, and tiny button-down flannels. With my oldest, bless his heart,...