Magazine

A tired mother holding a coffee mug and a baby in a messy kitchen

Oh Baby, A Triple: Surviving the Rule of Threes in Parenting

It’s 3:14 AM on a random Tuesday. I'm standing barefoot on the freezing kitchen tiles wearing a Target robe that smells aggressively like sour breastmilk and pure desperation, holding a plastic pump flange in one hand and a half-empty mug...

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Exhausted mom singing into a wooden spoon while a toddler pulls her leg.

I Can Be Your Hero Baby: Why the Supermom Myth is Total Trash

I was standing at the kitchen sink yesterday, elbow-deep in cold dishwater and crusted oatmeal, when my throwback playlist shuffled to Enrique Iglesias. Right as he dramatically whispered that he can be your hero, baby, I actually snorted so loud...

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An exhausted dad staring at his laughing 11-month-old baby in a soft organic cotton bodysuit

System Specs vs Reality: Surviving Your Comedic 11-Month-Old

It's 2:43 AM, and I'm holding a tiny human who's laughing hysterically at a completely blank wall. I'm staring at my phone's spreadsheet where I track his input/output logs and exact ambient room temperature (68.4 degrees, for the record), trying...

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Mom sitting on living room floor looking tired while toddler walks away

Don't You Want Me Like I Want You Baby Lyrics & Toddler Drama

The absolute biggest lie the parenting industry ever managed to sell us is that your Spotify Wrapped needs to look like an eighteenth-century Austrian composer's fever dream for your kid to get into a good kindergarten. I was standing in...

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Exhausted mother holding a clinging infant in a baby carrier inside an apartment

The brutal reality of raising a velcro baby and keeping your sanity

Listen. It was two in the afternoon on a Tuesday in mid-February. The Chicago wind was rattling the apartment windows, and I had needed to empty my bladder since ten that morning. Dev was asleep, heavily draped across my chest...

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Sarah holding a crying newborn baby while sitting on a messy living room couch

Is Cry Baby John Waters For Kids? (Plus Actual Infant Crying)

It was 3:14 AM on a Tuesday, and I was pretty sure I was hallucinating. Leo was six weeks old and screaming like I was actively harming him, his tiny face turning a shade of purple I didn't know existed...

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A tired father holding a screaming newborn in a dimly lit kitchen.

Surviving the evening screams with your sanity mostly intact

There was a specific time, 6:13 PM to be exact, when the atmosphere in our London flat would shift from manageable chaos to complete psychological warfare. You could set a watch by it. The girls would be lying there, looking...

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Mom looking stressed while holding an iPad showing a cartoon baby dragon.

The Real Truth About That Free Baby Dragon Emote Code Situation

My mom told me to take the iPad, wrap it in a beach towel, and bury it in the backyard next to the old pecan tree where the dogs couldn't dig it up. Tyler, the sixteen-year-old neighbor who comes over...

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Toddler holding a game controller while wearing a red organic cotton bodysuit

My toddler found baby mario and my screen time rules evaporated

The console was just sitting there on the coffee table, a glowing rectangle of temptation my husband forgot to dock the night before. It was 6:15 in the morning. I was in the kitchen trying to make coffee with one...

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