Viral Internet Baby Soap Operas & Real Evacuation Plans
I was elbow-deep in raw chicken making freezer meals last Tuesday, with half-finished Etsy orders covering my dining table, when my four-year-old hollered from the living room that the "baby boss movie" was doing something weird. I wiped my hands...
The reality of toxic co-parenting and what it does to a baby
Hey Priya of six months ago. You're currently sitting on the cold hexagonal tiles of the guest bathroom floor. The Chicago wind is rattling the frosted glass window, the baby is finally asleep after an hour of fighting a brutal...
Screen Time Reality: A Mom's Take On The Little Baby Bum Craze
When my oldest was born, my mom flat-out told me that looking at a screen before age two would permanently short-circuit his brain. My pediatrician shrugged at our six-month checkup and said fifteen minutes of a cartoon so I could...
Surviving the Lava Monster Phase: A Dad's Take on Baby Moana
The haptic feedback on my Apple Watch woke me from a sleep-deprived trance at exactly 3:14 PM on a Saturday. It was a decibel warning. My living room had just surpassed 90 decibels, which my watch helpfully noted could cause...
That Night a Baby Hazel App Cost Me Nine Bucks and Total Sanity
I was elbow-deep in printing shipping labels for my Etsy shop at ten o'clock on a Tuesday night, entirely convinced my four-year-old was dead asleep in his room, when my Apple watch buzzed with an $8.99 charge from the App...
Midnight Feeds & Why Surprise Baby Daddy is the CEO Saved Me
It was 3:14 AM. I know this because I had checked the clock on the microwave four times in the last hour. I was wearing my husband Dave's gray sweatpantsβthe ones with the mysterious bleach stain on the left kneeβand...
Why The Trisha Paytas Baby Theory Actually Terrifies Modern Moms
The blue light from my phone screen was the only thing illuminating the nursery at two in the morning. The breast pump was doing its rhythmic, mechanical wheeze. My brain was operating on three hours of fractured sleep, which is...
Why Talking to Your Infant Like a Roommate Actually Works
The biggest, most pervasive lie we're sold about motherhood is that you need a degree in early childhood development and a voice that shatters glass to properly entertain an infant. I used to actually make my throat sore trying to...
The Baby Shark YouTube Dilemma: Troubleshooting Infant Screens
My mother-in-law swore that firing up a specific bright yellow video was the only way to hard-reset a tantrum. My senior dev pinged me on Slack claiming that same video permanently alters neural pathways. And the guy steaming oat milk...