Magazine

A tired dad holding a blue floral baby blanket surrounded by party decorations

Hosting a Baby in Bloom Baby Shower: A Dad's Survival Guide

You're currently bleeding on a Β£40 bunch of imported eucalyptus. I know this because I'm you, writing from exactly six months in the future, and I still have the tiny, irritating scar on my left index finger to prove it....

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Tired mom holding her baby near a bright window trying to take a picture on her phone

How to Take Decent Baby Pictures Without Losing Your Entire Mind

I was sweating through my favorite gray t-shirt, balancing on one foot on a dining room chair, making noises that sounded like a dying turkey. Below me, my oldest son, Hunter, was screaming bloody murder from inside a $60 woven...

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Exhausted twin dad staring at a sticky tablet screen looking deeply confused

Why my toddler's search for baby hotline lyrics gave me a heart attack

It's 6:13 AM on a Tuesday, and my left knee is submerged in what I can only hope is lukewarm porridge. Twin A, who I'm increasingly convinced is an agent of chaos sent to test my blood pressure, has somehow...

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Baby with a patchy friction bald spot sitting in a high chair.

The Bizarre Lifecycle of Infant Hair (And Why We Don't Shave It)

My mother-in-law was dead serious when she handed me my beard trimmer. We were sitting in the living room, staring at the side of my 11-month-old's head, which currently looked like a poorly maintained lawn. He had thick patches on...

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Frustrated mom holding a baby while looking at old nursery gear

The Baby Grand Era: When Grandma’s Advice Makes You Want to Scream

I'm staring at a drop-side crib that looks like it survived the Oregon Trail, and my mother-in-law is patting the literal patchwork quilt she just laid inside it. She's telling me how my husband slept in this exact death trap...

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Close up of an eleven month old baby foot kicking on a wooden floor in Portland

Before and After: Debugging the Weird Hardware of a Baby Foot

Last Tuesday at 3 AM, I found myself holding my son's left ankle like I was inspecting a suspicious external hard drive, trying to figure out how his toes were suddenly jammed completely sideways inside his pajamas. The nursery monitor...

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A tired dad looking confused at a grocery store aisle full of baby food pouches

The real truth about baby food pouches and picky eating

My mother-in-law told me I need to boil and blend organic root vegetables until my kitchen looks like a nineteenth-century apothecary. The guy ahead of me at our Portland neighborhood coffee shop loudly proclaimed that purees destroy a baby's jaw...

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A tiny plush elf doll sitting next to an 11-month-old infant who looks completely bewildered.

Debugging the Holiday Magic: Our First Baby Elf Setup

"Put it on the mantle so he knows Santa is watching," my mother told me on Thanksgiving, handing me a felt doll with suspicious eyes and unnaturally long limbs. "Don't bring that surveillance state psychological warfare into your home," my...

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Frustrated dad looking at his phone while twin toddlers play on the floor

Dear Past Tom: The Baby Dragon Evo Is Not A Wooden Toy

Dear Tom of six months ago. You're currently sitting on the kitchen floor at 6:13 AM, watching Maya meticulously paint the skirting boards with organic oat porridge while Lily tries to negotiate with a rogue Cheerio she found under the...

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