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Dad wearing a green tactical baby carrier with pouches attached while hiking on a dirt trail.

Why My Husband's Tactical Baby Carrier Actually Drives Me Crazy

"You're going to overheat that poor child in that bulletproof vest," my mom announced from the kitchen island, staring at the massive olive-green rig strapped to my husband's chest. Not five minutes later, his hunting buddy Mike texted him a...

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A confused dad looking at the back of a prenatal vitamin bottle in a grocery store.

What Thalidomide Babies Taught Us About The Placenta Firewall

I was standing in aisle 14 of the Hawthorne Fred Meyer at 9 PM on a Tuesday, aggressively squinting at the back of a ginger supplement bottle while my pregnant wife dry-heaved in the passenger seat of our Subaru. She...

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Exhausted mom watching micro dramas on her phone while nursing the baby in a dark room

Why That Baby Star They Regret Losing Drama Wrecked My Sleep

The blue light from my cracked iPhone screen was violently illuminating the dried spit-up on my shoulder, and the microwave clock in the kitchen read exactly 3:14 AM. I was pinned under an eighteen-pound milk-drunk four-month-old, my legs were entirely...

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A tired mom holding a coffee cup while reading about a mother gorilla and her newborn infant on a smartphone.

Why Gladys the Cincinnati Zoo Gorilla Is My New Parenting Hero

It was 6:14 AM on a Tuesday, I was wearing my husband Mark’s college lacrosse hoodie that smells faintly of old garlic, and I was staring at a gorilla on my phone while my coffee went completely cold. Like, literally...

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Tired parents sitting on the floor of a messy baby nursery at night

What the Dijon Baby Album Got Right About New Parent Anxiety

It was 2:13 AM, and my husband was sitting on the edge of the bathtub just staring at the tile grout while our oldestβ€”who's basically a walking cautionary tale for why you shouldn't blindly trust anything you read in a...

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Tired mom holding a sleeping baby while looking at her smartphone

Uncle Richard Is My Baby Daddy Dailymotion & Your Baby's Sleep

It's 2:14 in the morning. The house is dead quiet, except for the cicadas outside and the faint, tinny sound of a grown woman screaming "You lied to me!" coming from my iPhone speaker. I'm pinned under my youngest, who...

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Exhausted dad staring at a smartphone screen in a messy living room.

The Absolute Truth About What A Baby Booter Actually Means

It's 3:14 AM. I'm wedged between a cot and a towering pile of unsorted laundry, typing with my less dominant thumb while one of the twins uses my left shoulder as a surprisingly absorbent drool rag. I'm simply trying to...

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A mother sitting on a rug looking shocked at her smartphone screen

What is a sugar baby: How one google search ruined my afternoon

I was sitting on my faded living room rug, picking dried oatmeal out of my hair, while my toddler chewed thoughtfully on a rogue cheerio he found beneath the radiator. It was a bleak Tuesday afternoon in Chicago. I had...

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Texas mom reviewing financial paperwork at kitchen table while baby plays with wooden toys

What Is a Trust Fund Baby? Building Real Wealth for Your Kids

I was sitting at my kitchen table last Tuesday, sorting through a chaotic stack of shipping labels for my Etsy shop, when I caught my oldest son trying to feed a twenty-dollar bill to the dog. This is the same...

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