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The soapy nightmare that led us to stainless steel toddler plates
Tuesday night, 6:43 PM. Kabir had just aggressively rejected a batch of organic mac and cheese that I spent twenty minutes hiding pureed cauliflower inside. I was standing over the kitchen sink, eating the lukewarm leftovers directly off his favorite...
The Truth About Bamboo Kids Plates (And What Actually Works)
I was standing barefoot in my kitchen at 7:00 AM, staring at a splatter of oatmeal slowly dripping down my newly painted cabinets, while my oldest son looked incredibly proud of his throwing arm. Jackson was two at the time,...
Dear Priya: The ugly truth about those bamboo childrens plates
Dear Priya from six months ago. You're currently scraping dried avocado out of the grooves of our dining room floor with a butter knife. Your son is screaming because his water is too wet. You're exhausted. I know you think...
Why suction bowls are actually about motor skills, not clean floors
I'm currently scraping dried avocado off the baseboard with a plastic pediatric tongue depressor I stole from my old hospital ward. People think the whole point of a suction bowl is to prevent this exact scenario. They assume it's just...
The Great Baby Bowl Delusion: What I Expected vs What Works
It was a Tuesday in 2017, and I was sitting on my kitchen floor wearing a gray nursing tank that smelled vaguely of sour milk, crying over a puddle of pulverized sweet potato. Leo was six months old. He was...
The Messy, Soap-Tasting Truth About Choosing The Right Baby Bowls
Before I even bought a highchair for Leo, three different people gave me completely contradicting advice about feeding him. My mother-in-law cornered me in my own kitchen to say that plates were a waste of money and I should just...
Baby Bowls Silicone: Troubleshooting The Night Spaghetti Won
6:14 PM, Tuesday. The ambient temperature in the kitchen was 68 degrees, but the marinara sauce slowly dripping down the bridge of my glasses was closer to 105. My eleven-month-old daughter had just executed a flawless physics demonstration right in...
The Engineering of Bib Safety and Dishwasher Survival Protocols
My mother-in-law told me to just tie a cloth napkin around his neck because "that's what we did in the eighties." A guy on the r/daddit subreddit swore by stripping his kid down to a diaper and hosing him off...
The Great Puree Illusion: My Humbling Education in Infant Spoons
The ceiling of my kitchen in Zone 3 currently sports a rather avant-garde splatter of pureed butternut squash, perfectly preserved from last Tuesday when I attempted to feed the twins simultaneously. Maya, deciding she was finished with her lunch, performed...