Why That Ice-Solid Teething Toy Myth Needs to Die Immediately
It's 3 AM and you're staring into the abyss of your freezer. Next to the ancient bag of edamame and the breastmilk stash you're too paranoid to throw away, there's a plastic ring shaped like a starfish. It's frozen completely...
Why the Teething Freezer Trick is a Disaster (And the Silicone Fix)
I was standing in front of the open refrigerator at 3:14 AM wearing a t-shirt I’d spilled coffee on twelve hours earlier, holding my oldest son Tucker while he screamed bloody murder. He was about five months old, drooling like...
The ugly truth about silicone jewelry teething trends and safety
I was standing in the checkout line at the Target on Roosevelt Road with a lukewarm cold brew I was too exhausted to actually drink when the geometric mint-green necklace snapped. Maya had a death grip on the nylon string....
Dear Past Marcus: You Will Wear Silicone Teething Jewelry
It’s 2:14 PM on a Tuesday, and you’re standing in the kitchen watching Maya try to tape her favorite delicate gold chain back together while our five-month-old daughter looks on with zero remorse. You’re currently thinking, Wow, babies have an...
A Letter to Myself About Those Aesthetic Silicone Teething Toys
Dear Sarah from exactly six months ago, You're currently sitting cross-legged on the gross, unfinished plywood floor of the attic. You're wearing that oversized grey college sweatshirt with the mysterious mustard stain on the left cuff, sweating profusely because it's...
Haakaa Teething Hacks: A Survival Guide to the Drool Apocalypse
Dear Sarah from exactly six months ago. You're currently standing in your sister's kitchen at 2 PM on a Tuesday, wearing those gray sweatpants with the mysterious yogurt stain on the knee, holding your screaming six-month-old nephew. You confidently volunteered...
The Brutal Truth About Why Your Baby Needs A Silicone Hand Teether
The absolute biggest lie older generations will tell you is that a baby chewing on their fists means they're starving. I remember sitting in the back of my Honda CRV in a Target parking lot when my son Leo was...
Safe Baby Dice: Why We Banned Regular D&D Sets At Home
Tuesday night, 8:43 PM. I'm wearing yoga pants permanently stained with breastmilk and a three-day-old messy bun that's defying gravity. My husband, Dave, is mid-sentence explaining how his half-elf rogue is going to pick the lock on the dungeon door,...
The 3 AM Meltdown That Made Me Finally Buy a Real Gum Teether
It was 3:17 AM in a freezing January, and I was sitting on the floor of my mother-in-law’s guest room in Connecticut wearing a stained pair of maternity sweatpants that I absolutely should have retired two years prior. Maya was...