Magazine

A bewildered dad looking at an 11-month-old baby covered in green pesto.

The Great Baby Pesto Disaster (And How To Actually Do It Right)

It was 6:42 PM on a Tuesday, and my kitchen looked like a lawnmower had exploded indoors. My wife was holding a wet washcloth, staring at me with that highly specific look she gets when I've confidently executed a task...

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Stressed dad looking at a car seat manual in the driveway.

My Bamby Baby Store Wake-Up Call: Why I Stopped Hacking Gear

I was wedged upside down in the backseat of my Subaru Outback, rain streaking the windows, sweating through a t-shirt in forty-degree Portland weather. My phone was propped precariously on the center console, playing a grainy YouTube tutorial at 1.5x...

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A father gently sweeping an infant grooming tool over a newborn's bald head

Why buying a baby comb for a completely bald infant makes sense

Before the twins arrived, my mother-in-law handed me a beautifully wrapped, eco-friendly grooming kit containing a wildly soft bristle brush and a tiny wooden toothed implement. I looked at the ultrasound pictures stuck to my fridgeβ€”two indistinct blurry blobs that...

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A tiny hand-washed luxury infant cardigan drying flat on a towel

Why I Stopped Laughing at Baby Cashmere (And Nineteen Tiny Goats)

It's 3:14 in the morning, and I'm standing over the bathroom sink with a bottle of pH-neutral baby shampoo, gently massaging a piece of knitwear the size of a side plate while Florence screams from the nursery as if she's...

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Exhausted dad staring at a glowing baby monitor in a dark nursery

Dear Past Marcus: Debugging The Extraterrestrial Baby Phase

It's 3:14 AM on a Tuesday, and you're staring at the night vision feed on the Nanit monitor like it's a security camera at a haunted house. His eyes are open. They're glowing an iridescent, terrifying white because of the...

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A baby making a hilarious sour face after tasting a pickle spear for the first time in a highchair.

The Truth About Giving Your Baby Pickles for the Very First Time

It was August 2017, and we were in my brother-in-law’s backyard for a family barbecue. I was standing there, sweating through a stained maternity tank top that I absolutely should have retired three months prior, balancing a seven-month-old Leo on...

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A confused dad looking at a giant spreadsheet of newborn clothing sizes and TOG ratings

Building Your First Baby Layette: A Tech Dad's Hardware Guide

At 37 weeks into my wife's pregnancy, I proudly stood in our nursery looking at my haul. I had acquired exactly fourteen pairs of newborn sneakers, three miniature denim jackets, a tiny tuxedo, and zero functional sleepwear. I approached our...

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Two toddlers crawling on grass wearing matching knit cardigans and flat caps.

The Utter Absurdity of Buying a Baby Golf Outfit for Toddlers

I’m currently watching my two-year-old daughter, Florence, attempt to swallow a brightly coloured plastic golf tee while her twin sister, Matilda, aggressively reverse-crawls her way out of a sand bunker. We’re at a rather stiff, overly manicured Surrey golf club...

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Baby lying on a play mat with a wooden baby gym overhead

The accidental gymnast and the gravity problem with your two-month-old

We need to talk about the biggest lie circulating in your local mom group. You know the one. You're sitting on someone's beige rug, sipping lukewarm coffee, and another mother casually drops that her eight-week-old is already rolling over. She...

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