How to Handle a Tick Bite on Your Baby Without Losing Your Mind
I was elbows deep in lukewarm bathwater trying to scrub what I thought was a stubborn piece of dried Texas dirt out from behind my four-month-oldβs left ear. My oldest was running around the bathroom completely naked, loudly singing a...
The Truth About Newborn Crying and Why You Don't See Tears Yet
It was 2:14 AM, and my oldest son Jacksonβwho is my personal cautionary tale for literally every parenting mistake a human can makeβwas doing this high-pitched pterodactyl shriek that vibrated directly in my molars. I was shining my iPhone flashlight...
The Urgent Care Algorithm: Surviving Your Baby's First Stitches
DO NOT ask Siri to calculate the total blood volume of an 11-month-old while said infant is actively bleeding onto your only decent living room rug. That's my primary takeaway from last Tuesday. I was trying to run the math...
The Ugly Truth About Finding Tiny Silverfish Nymphs in the Nursery
It's two in the morning and I'm staring at the baseboard near the changing table. The lighting is terrible, my eyes are burning from lack of sleep, and my toddler is currently practicing his gymnastics routine on the changing pad....
The Truth About Baby Feet: Why Those Tiny Shoes Are a Scam
My mother-in-law held up a pair of hot pink, patent leather, miniature high heels at my baby shower like she had just extracted a rare diamond from a mine. I smiled, nodded, and immediately mentally categorized them as biohazard waste....
The Late Night Panic Guide To Baby Shaking Head Side to Side
You're staring at the grainy green footage of your baby monitor at two in the morning. Your kid is doing this aggressive, rhythmic thrashing thing against the mattress. It looks like they're trying to start a mosh pit in a...
What my pediatrician actually said about a normal baby temperature
Dear Priya from six months ago. You're currently standing in the dark next to the crib. You're holding a glowing temporal thermometer like it's a loaded weapon. Your nursing degree is mounted on the wall somewhere downstairs, but it's currently...
Why I Watch Cry-Baby 1990 When My Actual Baby Just Won't Stop
Dear Priya from six months ago. You're currently sitting on the floor of the nursery in your sweatpants, staring at a patch of dried spit-up on the rug while Arjun screams like he's being prepped for an unanesthetized appendectomy. The...
Surviving the Vaccine Schedule for Babies Without Losing Your Mind
I was sitting in exam room four with my oldest, Beau, sweating entirely through my favorite beige Target tee while trying to pretend I had everything under control. He was four months old, completely naked except for a drool-soaked diaper,...