Magazine

Tired dad looking at a motorized infant container next to a sleeping baby

A Letter to Past Me About the Illusion of the Perfect Baby Swing

Hey Marcus from six months ago. It's November, it's raining in Portland again, and you're currently staring at a $250 motorized bucket that oscillates at exactly 43 beats per minute while you pray it'll silence the tiny human who has...

Read more

A wobbly toddler in soft Kianao organic cotton pants trying to take independent baby steps by the couch.

Before and After: Surviving the Panic of Your Kid's Baby Steps

I'm sitting on the floor of our living room. It’s a Tuesday in late 2021, and I'm wearing a pair of black leggings that have a mystery yogurt stain crusted onto the left knee. My son, Leo, who's thirteen months...

Read more

A tiny newborn squirrel resting safely on a smooth cotton cloth inside a dark cardboard box

My chaotic guide to finding an orphaned baby squirrel in your yard

The wind in Chicago in April is basically a personal insult. I was already standing in the kitchen watching my toddler have a full-scale meltdown because his morning banana had the audacity to break in half. I was mentally calculating...

Read more

Twin dad Tom looking exhausted while Googling newborn rashes at 3am

Dear Past Tom: The Truth About Achieving That Baby Smoove Skin

Dear Tom from six months ago, You're currently sitting on the cold tiles of the downstairs loo at 3:14 AM, the only room in the house where you can turn on a light without waking your wife or the twins....

Read more

Two toddlers in rain boots pointing at a sheep in a muddy farm park enclosure.

Farmyard Crises and Explaining Baby Sheep to Toddlers

I'm standing ankle-deep in something I'm desperately praying is just mud at Mudchute Farm, trying to wipe half a chewed oat biscuit off Twin A’s cheek, when Twin B extends a sticky, demanding finger toward the livestock enclosure. The sky...

Read more

Dad staring hopelessly at a singing yellow plastic fish toy

The yellow menace: A twin dad's survival guide to baby shark toys

It's 4:12 in the morning. I'm standing in the hallway wearing nothing but mismatched socks and a pair of boxers that have seen significantly better days, violently negotiating with a water-activated plastic fish. The fish is singing. It has been...

Read more

A tired dad looking at his phone while a toddler plays with wooden ocean toys

Decoding the Baby Shark Lyrics Without Completely Losing It

It's 6:14 AM on a Tuesday, and I'm standing in my dimly lit Portland kitchen holding a rapidly cooling pour-over while my 11-month-old attempts to dismantle the lower cabinet hardware. He isn't crying, exactly. He's emitting this steady, rhythmic low-frequency...

Read more

Sarah drinking coffee while baby plays safely in a wooden play space.

Why I Finally Caved and Bought a Play Area for My Kids

It was a Tuesday morning in late 2017, and I was wearing a pair of black yoga pants that had a highly questionable smear of sweet potato puree on the left thigh. Maya was seven months old, which meant she...

Read more

Exhausted dad holding two toddlers while trying to dodge a flying wooden block

Why "hit me baby one more time" is my parenting reality

Last Tuesday at our local library's rhythm and rhyme session, Florence landed a shockingly accurate left hook directly onto my nose just as we were gearing up for the second verse of The Wheels on the Bus. The elderly librarian...

Read more