Magazine

Messy pile of organic cotton baby clothes and a lukewarm iced coffee on a nursery rug.

Why I Stopped Buying Flashy Baby Designer Clothes

It was 2:14 in the morning on a Tuesday, and I was standing in Maya’s nursery wearing a nursing tank top that smelled strongly of sour milk and desperation, holding my breath. She was three weeks old. My mother-in-law had...

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A very messy eleven-month-old eating a mini lemon baked treat in a highchair.

Dear Past Marcus: Surviving Solids With Baby Lemon Impossible Pies

I'm currently scraping a cemented, neon-yellow blob of crust off the exact midpoint of our kitchen floor at 3 AM using an old credit card. It’s stuck to the hardwood like industrial adhesive. This is my life now. Dear Marcus...

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A pregnant woman looking at her phone while holding a cup of coffee and a neutral baby blanket.

Why I Stopped Trusting The Chinese Baby Gender Predictor Chart

I was sitting in a terrifyingly hip Brooklyn coffee shop at 14 weeks pregnant with my first kid, wearing my husband’s oversized flannel shirt because absolutely none of my pants fit anymore, drinking a tragic decaf oat milk latte that...

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Tired mom holding a laundry basket looking shocked at an iPad screen

Why The Crack Baby Mitski Search Term Ruined My Tuesday Night

I was sitting cross-legged on the floor at eleven o'clock on a Tuesday, elbow-deep in a basket of sour-smelling toddler pajamas, when I saw it. The family iPad, which is supposed to be locked down tighter than Fort Knox, was...

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Exhausted dad staring at laptop searching for a transparent boss baby png

The Boss Baby PNG Invite Crisis and Other Parenting Dad Bugs

2:14 AM. The cursor blinks at me mockingly. I'm staring at a layer mask in my photo editing software that's systematically failing its primary objective. The biggest myth they sell you in the hospital discharge paperwork isn't about infant sleep...

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A dad watching boss baby back in business on a laptop while his baby chews on a sustainable wooden toy

Is Boss Baby Back in Business Ruining My Kid? A Dad's Log

It was exactly 6:14 AM on a Tuesday, and my apartment smelled faintly of day-old breastmilk and sheer desperation. My wife, Sarah, had left the state for a 48-hour work conference, leaving me as the sole systems administrator for our...

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A frustrated mom holding a crying baby wearing stiff miniature denim jeans in a brightly lit nursery

The Messy Truth About Dressing Your Infant in Tiny Stiff Denim

I was sweating completely through my only clean gray t-shirt, wrestling my six-month-old son into a pair of miniature, rigid cotton pants that featured actual, literal brass rivets. My husband was out in the garage blasting some playlist, and I...

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A wooden teething ring and soft baby blocks scattered on a very messy living room rug next to a cold cup of coffee

Finding The Best Baby Toys That Won't Make You Totally Insane

It was 3:14 AM on a Tuesday in November. I know this because my brain permanently recorded the exact time of my near-death experience. I was wearing my husband Dave’s horribly stained gray sweatpants from a 2012 Turkey Trot, holding...

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A tired dad installing an infant car seat base in a compact car while holding the manual.

The Search for the Best Baby Car Seat (A Dad's Hardware Review)

The rain was blowing sideways across the Providence Portland hospital parking lot, and the discharge nurse was staring intensely at my hands. I was attempting to click my three-day-old son's carrier into the base I had confidently installed in my...

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