Magazine

Tired dad looking at a laptop with baby building blocks nearby

Figuring Out the New MAGA Baby Savings Account Without Losing It

My father-in-law texted me at 6:15 AM in all-caps about how the federal government is apparently handing out a free thousand bucks for my kid. Two hours later, a senior developer on my engineering team Slack-messaged me a doom-scroll thread...

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A tired mom holding a coffee mug while adjusting a beige linen carrier

Dear Sarah: The Truth About The Viral Mabe Baby Carrier

Dear Sarah from exactly six months ago, You're sitting on the living room rug in those embarrassing gray maternity leggings you absolutely refuse to throw out, staring at a pile of beige linen and black buckles. You're on your third...

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A tired dad looking at a smartphone screen in horror while holding a teether

Why Searching For loser baby lyrics Is A Parenting Trap

My mother-in-law insisted I needed to pipe classical symphonies into the nursery to raise certified geniuses, the bloke who makes my flat whites swore by 90s West Coast hip-hop to build 'rhythmic resilience', and my NHS health visitor gently suggested...

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Twin babies covered in sweet potato puree looking extremely pleased with themselves

My Brutally Honest Review of Little Spoon Baby Food Deliveries

I'm standing in an unfamiliar kitchen in Chicago at six in the morning, holding a plastic tub of green sludge that claims to contain spirulina, chia, and something called a 'dragon fruit.' My twin daughters, Florence and Matilda, are rhythmically...

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Exhausted dad trying to support two wobbly twin baby heads at once

The Terrifying Bobblehead Phase: Babies Holding Their Heads Up

My mother-in-law was holding Florence, who was precisely eighteen days old at the time, when she decided to gesture wildly with both hands while telling a long-winded story about a rogue fox in her garden. For three horrifying seconds, Florence’s...

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A very tired mom wondering when do babies see color while her newborn stares at a blank wall

When Do Babies See Color? (And Why My Newborn Hated Pastels)

I was standing in the middle of the nursery at two in the morning, wearing nursing pads that were definitely leaking, holding my three-week-old daughter Maya. I had just spent an embarrassing amount of money on this gorgeous, handcrafted, organic...

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Twin girls covered in sweet potato puree sitting in highchairs at the kitchen table

When Do Babies Start Eating Baby Food? A Twin Dad's Messy Guide

Dear Tom of eighteen months ago, You're currently standing in the kitchen at 3am, staring at a very expensive, totally unused baby food maker, frantically typing misspelled queries like "when do I feed my babi" into your phone with one...

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Baby attempting reverse gear crawl on living room floor

When Do Babies Start To Crawl? A Letter To My Clueless Past Self

Hey Marcus from six months ago. I know you're currently enjoying the stationary phase where you can set the kid down on the rug, go make an espresso, and return to find him occupying the exact same coordinate space. Enjoy...

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Tired mom holding a teething baby chewing on a silicone squirrel teether

When Do Babies Teeth? An Honest Timeline For Exhausted Parents

I was standing in the checkout line at Trader Joe's in 2019, balancing a frozen pizza on my hip because I didn't grab a cart, when the contradictory advice started. Maya was about five months old, wearing a mustard yellow...

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