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90s nostalgiababy developmentearly developmentparenting humourplaytimewooden toys
A scattered pile of wooden blocks on a living room rug next to a coffee cup

Analog QA Testing: Why I Replaced The Flashing Toys With Wood

It was exactly 3:14 AM when my bare heel made contact with the plastic singing cow. I was holding a half-asleep eleven-month-old, navigating the dark hallway by memory, when 180 decibels of synthesized banjo music erupted from the floorboards. The...

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A stressed dad holding a silicone panda teether while researching reptile facts on his phone

Letter to Past Marcus: Baby Rattlesnakes & Other Terrors

Hey Marcus from six months ago. It's me, future Marcus. You're currently sitting in the dark at 3:14 AM, the retina display of your phone burning a hole in your exhausted corneas because you tried to Google "best wooden baby...

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A confused dad holding up tiny rigid boys pants next to a squirming baby.

Why Miniature Denim is a Parenting Glitch You Need to Patch

My wife Sarah walked into the nursery, took one look at Leo, and sighed. I had him pinned to the changing table, sweating through my t-shirt, trying to secure a metallic snap on a pair of rigid, miniature denim trousers....

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Dad measuring sound machine volume next to baby crib

Decoding Infant Sleep Audio: My War With Sound Machines

It's 3 AM and I'm hovering over my eleven-month-old's crib with a free NIOSH decibel meter app glowing ominously on my phone, watching the needle spike into the red zone. My wife is standing in the doorway in her robe,...

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A brightly coloured plastic dog toy sitting next to scattered wooden baby blocks on a rug.

Why I Completely Surrendered to the Fisher-Price Baby Era

It's 4:17 in the morning, and my bare foot has just made solid, agonising contact with the Smart Stages Puppy in the dark hallway. Without warning, an aggressively cheerful, synthetic voice belts out, "I SEE YOU!" followed immediately by that...

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babymaternal mental healthmilestonesmusicparenting humour
Ella Mai and Jayson Tatum at the Paris Olympics with baby Dylan

Why The Ella Mai Baby Secret Made Me Rethink Everything

Right now, there's a half-chewed oat biscuit adhered to my left kneecap with what I can only assume is industrial-strength toddler saliva, and I'm staring at my phone screen in absolute awe. I'm looking at photos of Grammy-winning R&B singer...

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Tired dad researching the dreamland baby sleep sack at 3am

Why a weighted sleep sack almost broke my parenting resolve

The glow of my phone screen was the only light in the nursery, casting long, vaguely sinister shadows over two cots containing infants who had apparently unionised and agreed to strike against sleep. It was 3:14 in the morning. My...

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babymaternal mental healthmotherhoodnewbornparenting humour
Exhausted mom holding a crying newborn baby in a dimly lit nursery while looking desperately at her phone.

Late Night Googling: Cheer Up Baby Full Movie and Other Tactics

The glow of my phone screen was the only light in the living room, and it was aggressively illuminating the spit-up crusted on my left shoulder. It was 2:14 AM. My husband was snoring in the bedroomβ€”a sound that made...

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A tired dad trying to drink tea while twins dismantle the living room

The myth of the peacefully occupied infant (and how to survive a bu...

I currently have one foot planted firmly on a rogue piece of Tupperware, while the other is trying to gently slide a half-eaten rice cake out from under the sofa before the dog finds it. The twins, at two years...

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