Magazine

A tired dad staring at a laptop spreadsheet of baby names in a dark nursery

Reverse-Engineering Adorable: The Baby Name Spreadsheet

It was 3:14 AM on a Tuesday, roughly two weeks before our son's scheduled launch date. The only light in the half-finished nursery was the cold glow of my dual monitors. My wife, Sarah, was sitting on a deflated birthing...

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A dad looking at a laptop screen next to a sleeping baby

Why I Let a Baby Name Generator Pick My Kid's Name

I was staring at a shared Google Sheet at two in the morning when I realized our entire naming protocol was fundamentally broken. My mother had just called to advise us to pick something "biblical but not weird," whatever that...

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Viral newborn Kelce Taylor wrapped in a blanket on a sports jersey

Debugging the Viral Rumor: Whose Baby is Kelce Taylor Anyway?

It’s 3:14 AM, the exact hour my 11-month-old son’s internal chron job decides it's time to test his vocal cords, and I’m staring at my phone in the dark trying to parse a timeline that physically can't exist. The headline...

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Pregnant mother drinking coffee looking at a list of baby boy names on her phone

The Real Truth About Picking Cute Baby Boy Names

I was exactly 34 weeks pregnant with Leo, sitting on the cold linoleum floor of a devastatingly bright Target aisle at 9 PM, wearing maternity leggings that smelled faintly of old string cheese, and I was crying. Full-on, ugly-crying next...

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Tired dad looking at a vintage Chinese gender predictor chart on his phone.

The Chinese Gender Calendar Trap: A Letter to Past Me at 3 AM

Dear Tom from six months ago, I know exactly what you're doing right now. You're sitting on the closed lid of the downstairs toilet at 2:13 AM, the harsh bathroom light burning your retinas, holding a plastic Tesco pregnancy test...

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A newborn baby boy wrapped in a hospital blanket sleeping soundly

The brutally honest guide to naming a boy

I was thirty-four weeks pregnant, sitting in the hospital cafeteria with a lukewarm grilled cheese, getting bombarded via text. My mother-in-law insisted we needed something that commanded respect in a boardroom, preferably something multi-syllabic and deeply traditional. The charge nurse...

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Pregnant mom sitting at a messy kitchen table looking at baby name books.

What Nobody Tells You About Choosing Baby Girl Names in 2025

I was standing in the middle of the H-E-B diaper aisle, eight months pregnant with my oldest, sobbing uncontrollably next to the butt paste because I suddenly realized the beautiful, vintage name we had spent six months choosing was going...

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A tired mom holding a lukewarm coffee and scrolling her phone in the dark

What The Trisha Paytas Baby Name Drama Taught Me About Motherhood

It was 2:14 AM on a Tuesday, and I was wearing Dave's oversized college hoodie that smells faintly of old garlic and desperation, sitting on the cold edge of our bathtub because Maya (who's FOUR, oh god, why is she...

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A pregnant woman looking stressed while writing a list of baby boy names

The absolute brutal reality of choosing unique baby boy names

I was thirty-eight weeks pregnant, charting vitals in the pediatric wing, when a mother proudly told me she named her newborn son Khaos. Spelled with a K. I smiled professionally, noted it in the chart, and walked out of the...

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