Magazine

11-month-oldorganic baby clothesparenting humorpop cultureteething
A tired dad holding a smartphone while a baby sleeps in the background

The Late Night Search History of a Clueless Dad

Dear Marcus from six months ago. You're currently sitting on the edge of the bathtub at 3:14 AM, the bathroom tiles are freezing your bare feet, and your phone screen brightness is aggressively burning your retinas because you forgot to...

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behaviorinternet safetymusicparenting humorpop culture
Stressed mom holding coffee while toddler points at a smart speaker playing the explicit Lil Baby new album.

My Toddler Found the Lil Baby New Album on Our Smart Speaker

There I was, elbow-deep in cold oatmeal, desperately trying to keep the twins from launching their sticky spoons at the dog, when my four-year-old casually yelled across the kitchen at our smart speaker. He’s my oldest, which means he's my...

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12-month-oldBabylondon dadparenting humorsafety tips
Exhausted dad holding twin babies on an airplane while surrounded by luggage.

Buying Lil Baby Tickets: The Great Airplane Lap Infant Lie

The seatbelt sign dings with that specific, mocking chime. I'm currently wedged into row 14B of an easyJet flight to Geneva, sweating through my jumper. Twin A is arching her back with the rigid intensity of a feral cat dodging...

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baby careBaby-Led Weaninginfant healthmillennialnutritionparenting humor
A toddler eating a small piece of shrimp at a messy high chair table.

My Sister Had a Baby Shrimp: The Truth About Shellfish & Babies

When my toddler started solids, my mother-in-law confidently informed me that giving fish to an infant would permanently imbalance their internal body temperature. My neighbor warned me that even touching a raw prawn in my own kitchen would trigger anaphylaxis...

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baby gearbaby healthinfant carelondon dadmillennialparenting humor
A tired dad staring suspiciously at a digital temperature reading in a dark nursery

How to Track an Infant Fever Without Completely Losing Your Mind

It’s 3:14 AM on a dreary Tuesday in November. Maya is radiating heat like a poorly insulated boiler, and I'm standing over her cot, frantically swiping a sixty-quid piece of infrared plastic across her forehead like I’m scanning a tin...

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baby toysinternet safetyparenting humorscreen timetoddler
A frustrated mom looking at a tablet next to a baphi baby search term block

The Baphi Baby Search Incident: Why I Threw Our iPad Away

I was up to my elbows in raw chicken and breadcrumbs when I heard it. That specific, slightly robotic chime of the voice-assistant activating on the family iPad that my three-year-old had dragged into the kitchen. I didn't think much...

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6-month-oldbaby developmentgross motor skillsorganicparenting humorscreen time
A tired mom holding a chubby baby on her hip while looking confused at a smartphone screen.

Why the Baki Baby Meme is Bizarre and What Real Strength Looks Like

I was sitting on the floor of my home office last Tuesday, trying to fulfill three Etsy orders for custom vinyl tumblers while simultaneously folding a mountain of tiny, mismatched socks, when my sister’s fourteen-year-old nephew strolled in. He stepped...

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4-month-oldbabybaby sleeplondon dadnewbornParenting humor
A tired father holding two identical twin babies in a messy London kitchen.

Surviving Year One: Letter To My Clueless Past Self (baby_jul1)

You're currently standing in the baby aisle of John Lewis, staring at a wall of breast pumps with the terrified, vacant expression of a man who has just been told an asteroid is hurtling toward Earth. I know this because...

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baby sleepfourth trimesterinfant carenewbornparenting humor
Tired mom holding a sleeping infant wrapped in a soft organic blanket

The Great 3 AM Lie About Your Baby's Sleep Schedule

I was sitting on the very edge of our squeaky nursery glider at 3:14 AM with my firstborn, glaring at a four-dollar tracking app on my phone that was flashing a red warning to tell me my three-week-old was "off...

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