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Dear Past Me: That TikTok issa_hay_baby_ Account Isn't Real
It’s exactly 3:14 AM right now in your timeline, and you're sitting on the edge of the glider while the baby does that weird pterodactyl screech that means his sleep cycle is resetting. Your face is bathed in the cold...
Why Teens Are Obsessed With The Snow Leopard Baby Webtoons
The absolute worst thing you can do when you catch your teenage niece crying into an iPad while she's supposed to be watching your toddler is to snatch the device away. I know this because it was my first instinct...
The Night "Sugar Baby Production" Ruined My Search History
It's exactly 2:14 AM on a Tuesday, and the glowing blue square of the baby monitor is showing me the night-vision outline of my eleven-month-old son doing something that looks suspiciously like a plank. He has been teething for what...
Troubleshooting The September 19 Birthday Twin Plushie Trend
I'll tell you exactly what not to do when you finally receive that crinkly, retro-smelling package from a vintage seller on the internet: don't immediately hand the twenty-six-year-old plush toy to your teething eleven-month-old. I made this exact logic error...
What Is A Tornado Baby Medical Truth I Wish I Knew
You're sitting in the windowless interior hallway of our Chicago apartment right now, sweating through a t-shirt while the sirens blare outside. The dog is pacing, the power is flickering, and you're frantically scrolling through your phone trying to figure...
Feeding Baby Chicks: A Letter From Six Months in the Future
Dear Tom of six months ago, You're currently standing in your kitchen, staring at a cardboard box from the post office that's vibrating. It sounds like it contains a hundred tiny, furious alarm clocks. You think you've made a lovely,...
When Do Babies Discover Their Feet: A Letter to My Anxious Self
Dear Priya from six months ago. You're sitting on the nursery rug at 3 AM. The glow of the humidifier is casting weird shadows on the wall, and your kid is lying flat on his back, staring at the ceiling...
How to survive a woven baby wrap without losing your mind
I was standing in the hallway at two in the morning. Maya was screaming the kind of red-faced scream that sets off your fight or flight response. I was holding a five-meter strip of linen like it was a giant...
Predicting the Unpredictable: The Truth About Infant Eye Color
I was sitting under the punishing, flickering fluorescent lights of the NHS maternity ward, nursing a tepid cup of instant coffee, when Twin A finally opened her eyes and looked right at me. I had spent the better part of...